- Chicago was a blast. I loved meeting the new people, making new friends & connections. Not to mention CEMENTING in previous friendships. Whenever I do something difficult, I know I have several hands of encouragement on my back! I am not going to call out each and every person I connected to, you know who you are. It was funny to me that pretty much the first thing everyone said to me was "When are you moving?!"
- Well...I have moved! October 8th was the big day! It went smoothly, I am pretty well settled in. I am happy and bored. But my therapist is happy with my boredom lol She said that if I wasn't bored going from the situation I was in to being by myself she would be concerned. I need to find Carmen, and reconnect with who she is.
- C is having a rough time, the night before I moved he told me that he didn't think he could be around while I was moving out. I am proud of him that he said that, he isn't open like that. We are still friends and still hang out. That won't change. Things are good!
- I was having a text chat with someone the other night (not naming names!) who mentioned that she was eating nonstop because she was bored & depressed & lonely. She wondered if she should get a fill. OK first of all it sounds like I was having a convo with myself (which I do quite often now lol)...But I've come to the conclusion that no I do not need a fill. Yes, in spite of the fact that I am eating all the time, everything in sight. I am not eating because I am hungry, I'm eating just BECAUSE. Horrible. A fill won't help. Maybe I need a brain fill. ummm...I don't have much else to say about that. I don't know what to do. My first grocery trip did not fill my pantry with crap, no chips, no cookies, no ice cream. I already had crackers though. I do a lot of mindless eating, it's like I'm in a trance. One minute I'm normal (semi) and the next I'll realize that I've just eaten some sort of crap. Maybe THIS is what I should be talking to my therapist about!!
- hmm....I think that is all I have to say for now! Go on over and have a cry at the post Jenny did for Draz's birthday.
Friday, October 21, 2011
I just realized
I have not posted since before Chicago! Whew, I have a bunch to say but I don't want to bore you so I will do some quick bullets.
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First I am glad that you got moved and that it went well! Let me say this to your comment about NOT needing a fill. I could not agree with you more. Many people with the band think that the fill is the miraculous cure all! When in fact it is the head hunger that you have to cure YOURSELF! The fill will not do anything about emotional eating NADA, ZILCH. I learned this the hard way folks.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you know this, you will do great I am so happy I met you and got to talk to you in Chicago! You are amazing!
I am glad you posted! First I want to say that I love the dress you wore on Saturday. I would like to have it so I will send you my address! :) jk
ReplyDeleteSecond I actually do have a crimper. AND we did buy it for holloween years ago. I'll trade it for your dress! Ha
Third...good for you and recognizing your eating as not real hunger! This week has been so hard for me and I have been questioning a fill as well! But damnit..I just need to STOP eating when I am not hungry!
Cemented!!!!!! Nah...we were already cemented! "what is that? velvet? It's beautiful!" LMAO! I love you, Carmie!
ReplyDeleteI'm going through the same thing... I scheduled a fill just in case it hasn't gone away in a few weeks. =/
ReplyDeleteGlad you got settled in and are blissfully bored!
I so sorry we made you cry...ha! We do have your back - cemented in love! I'm sooo proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're settled in! I think we all eat when we're not actually hungry - it's the reason we all got so huge in the first place! I really feel like I should attend a support group, therapy or SOMETHING to help me get over the food addiction. Funny, that's never been addressed in any of my post-op stuff!
ReplyDeleteGlad your move went smoothly. Enjoy boredom. I finally learned after years that boredom is I guess normalcy minus the drama. Its weird being in that place. But now you get time to get to know YOU and LOVE YOU more.
ReplyDeleteAs for the fill... I read someone's post (can't remember) a couple of weeks ago.. very true, the fill isn't going to stop the snacking. I agree with the head-fill though. I need one.
(((HUGS)))
I'm cemented too! And I could have written this post - well not the moving part but the my brain needs a fill part and the it's like I'm in a trance part. I totally don't need a fill - but I do need a something... Let me know when you figure out what that is. :)
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteGreat site! I'm trying to find an email address to contact you on to ask if you would please consider adding a link to my website. I'd really appreciate if you could email me back.
Thanks and have a great day!