- Chicago was a blast. I loved meeting the new people, making new friends & connections. Not to mention CEMENTING in previous friendships. Whenever I do something difficult, I know I have several hands of encouragement on my back! I am not going to call out each and every person I connected to, you know who you are. It was funny to me that pretty much the first thing everyone said to me was "When are you moving?!"
- Well...I have moved! October 8th was the big day! It went smoothly, I am pretty well settled in. I am happy and bored. But my therapist is happy with my boredom lol She said that if I wasn't bored going from the situation I was in to being by myself she would be concerned. I need to find Carmen, and reconnect with who she is.
- C is having a rough time, the night before I moved he told me that he didn't think he could be around while I was moving out. I am proud of him that he said that, he isn't open like that. We are still friends and still hang out. That won't change. Things are good!
- I was having a text chat with someone the other night (not naming names!) who mentioned that she was eating nonstop because she was bored & depressed & lonely. She wondered if she should get a fill. OK first of all it sounds like I was having a convo with myself (which I do quite often now lol)...But I've come to the conclusion that no I do not need a fill. Yes, in spite of the fact that I am eating all the time, everything in sight. I am not eating because I am hungry, I'm eating just BECAUSE. Horrible. A fill won't help. Maybe I need a brain fill. ummm...I don't have much else to say about that. I don't know what to do. My first grocery trip did not fill my pantry with crap, no chips, no cookies, no ice cream. I already had crackers though. I do a lot of mindless eating, it's like I'm in a trance. One minute I'm normal (semi) and the next I'll realize that I've just eaten some sort of crap. Maybe THIS is what I should be talking to my therapist about!!
- hmm....I think that is all I have to say for now! Go on over and have a cry at the post Jenny did for Draz's birthday.
Friday, October 21, 2011
I just realized
I have not posted since before Chicago! Whew, I have a bunch to say but I don't want to bore you so I will do some quick bullets.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tranportation Update
I emailed the group coupon site with no response yet. I will call later today. Another car service I called wanted 54 PLUS a 20 off peak surcharge NOT. Then I checked the shuttle service website but they said nothing was available for that time & to call so I called this morning. $31 dollars later and I'm booked! Now just pray for no delays otherwise I'll be SOL!
Last minute preparations are in full effect! One more wake up! My suitcase is all packed, just my carryon needs a few tweaks. When I was packing I veered off my list and just threw a bunch of extra clothes in lol Not quite sure why I did that, but I did. Last year I felt like I didn't bring enough, so of course this year I prob brought TOO much. Plus I have a bunch of clothes for the sisterhood.
I cancelled my truck reservation for the move to conserve finances. One of my friends and her husband (who are helping in the move) have access to 2 trucks, so I took them up on their offer.
Have a great day!
PS I got an email saying that a refund has been processed for the coupon :-)
PPS to all my new FB buddies HI! just an FYI I am open about everything on there except this blog :-)
Last minute preparations are in full effect! One more wake up! My suitcase is all packed, just my carryon needs a few tweaks. When I was packing I veered off my list and just threw a bunch of extra clothes in lol Not quite sure why I did that, but I did. Last year I felt like I didn't bring enough, so of course this year I prob brought TOO much. Plus I have a bunch of clothes for the sisterhood.
I cancelled my truck reservation for the move to conserve finances. One of my friends and her husband (who are helping in the move) have access to 2 trucks, so I took them up on their offer.
Have a great day!
PS I got an email saying that a refund has been processed for the coupon :-)
PPS to all my new FB buddies HI! just an FYI I am open about everything on there except this blog :-)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Car Service FAIL
So I bought that little group coupon last week, and proceeded to call and leave FIVE messages between 9/22/11 and today with no call backs. Finally I called and someone actually answered! YAYY!!! Not so fast Carmen. The golden girl who answered informed me that there are no spots left. I stated that I have been leaving messages with no call back yadda yadda yadda She said "I'm sorry we can't help you" and hung up! WTF. So I guess I'm out that money because they aren't REFUSING to honor the coupon, they just don't have room for me on my specific day. Bleh.
Carmen is grouchy McPissy pants today!
**updated....AND the Express shuttle stops just as my flight is landing. So looks like I will be spending the $50 bucks to take a dang taxi! I'm not too keen on taking the train or bus at 1130 pm...
Carmen is grouchy McPissy pants today!
**updated....AND the Express shuttle stops just as my flight is landing. So looks like I will be spending the $50 bucks to take a dang taxi! I'm not too keen on taking the train or bus at 1130 pm...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Bullet Bandwagon
I noticed quite a few posts today that were bulletized (did I totally make that word up?) Personally I like to bullets when I have a bunch of random crap to say :-)
- Yup still not packed.
- But I know WHAT I'm packing.
- Nearly everyday I'm having bouts of anxiety. Sure that is a side effect of my medication, but it probably has to do more with how thin I'm stretching myself. Financially speaking. When it comes to money I'm wicked dumb. But thanks to the band I can stretch the 5 bucks I'm bringing with me into more important things than food! I'm bringing some bars and nuts with me.
- Ah, no. I'm not really only bringing 5 bucks lol
- I've called that freaking town car place FIVE TIMES and left FIVE MESSAGES with no call back. WTF. Today I called and it sounded like someone picked up but on a cell and the call ended right awaay. SIGH.
- I've decided to leave work early on Thursday because I have to pick up the keys to my new place! And it was just cutting it a little too close leaving CT @ 5 and heading to JFK.
- Just typing that shit out about money got me riled up. Just the timing of everything is throwing a monkey wrench in my bank account.
- Let's talk feet. I started my WLS journey off wearing a solid size 11, not wide not overly narrow, just kinda normal. I didn't think I'd lose any shoe sizes. Well la-di-freaking-da I lost HALF a size. WTF. Now I'm having toe problems (ingrown nail) due to wearing shoes that I've literally walked out of because they are too big. It was hard enough finding size 11's in shoes that I liked and could afford. Now trying to find a 10 1/2?? riiiiggghhhhhttttt.
- Steph I may not be going in the pool/hot tub. I will def bring my suit & dip my feet in but might not actually go in. We shall see...
- hmmm...what else do I have to tell you??
- Oh yeah, I'm a hugger and cuddler and hand holder. If you are not just tell me or say "Carmen did you try the bread pudding?" Umm..yeah don't know where that came from lol
- Last night after drinking all my adult tea drinks I still wanted a drink so I popped open a Bud Light, let it sit for a bit. It's been a looooong time since I had it....holy crap that stuff is gross!!
- Can someone bring some squeeky cheese curds to Chicago for me please???
Friday, September 23, 2011
BYOC
It's Friday and you know what that means - yes? It's time for BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy like your life depends on it! We answer a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and ENJOY!!
Oh and before I begin - these questions come from the fabulous Joey (cuz my teensy weensy brain is shot)! Thank you Joey - I owe you one!
1. If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?
I am the love child of Monica and Chandler :-) Self Deprecating humor? CHECK! OCD tendencies? CHECK! That is all.
2. If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?
I always wanted to be a writer. That was really well written huh? lol
3. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?
An interior designer or architect or writer
4. Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?
Excellent question. I believe that SOULMATE and ONE TRUE LOVE are two different things. I believe that your soulmate can be anyone, lover, friend, relative etc just someone who completes your soul. And I believe that you can have multiple soulmates, ones who complete you in different ways but still a completion. As far as one true love? Eh. I go back and forth on this one. Sometimes I believe it because DUH, hello romantic movies!! Who doesn't want to believe that there is that ONE person out there for you?!?! But then I start to think, well shit where is MY ONE? So that is when I start to think that there isn't just one because you aren't the same person looking for the same things/traits etc all your life.
5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Whew. I am one big stress ball. I'm a list maker and planner (ahem see question #1). Normally I would have been packed for Chicago LAST week. And I would be 95% packed for my move coming the week after Chicago. However, all that has been done is making lists and thinking about planning to start to pack. (yes getting ready to start to get ready). My dear Lori is surprised, but I needed her to explain me to myself and this is what she said, I'm sure she won't mind me sharing lol (oh and the Julie she references is a therapist):
I think you are in a constant state of testing yourself and challenging yourself. That could be part of it.
Plus -- this "Leaving Him" thing has ALWAYS been something in the FUTURE. When you talked about it, you felt sane because you knew you had to do it, but you felt safe beacuse you knew you were not doing it right away. Ever since I re-connected with you, it's been something that you planned to do .... but "not now".
So, you decided to look for houses. That was safe because that takes TIME.
Then, you deided to look for apartments. You found one.
AHA! Justification to wait -- CHICAGO!!! Not that it's just an excuse, and I do think you would have left on Oct 1 if not for Chicago .... but it conveniently played into the "I AM LEAVING IN THE FUTURE" mentality. There is security in your living situation with Chris. I'll leave the analysis of the word Security to Julie ... but that's what it is. Of course you want to leave. That's logical. But there's an entirely illogical part of you that is secure in staying.
It's all kinda obvious, but it's also probably so deep in you that even you don't recognize it.
You'll move. Don't worry about if/what/when to pack -- it'll happen.
As for not packing for Chicago, I would guess it's an unfortunate by-product of the OTHER topic. Also, in your mind, "as soon as you get back from Chicago, you are moving out" .. so if you don't pack for Chicago, them moving out will STILL be in the future.
She knows me so well. I hope, but cannot guarntee it, to be packed for Chicago by Sunday night, or at least 95% of the way. Packing for the move? I will think about that on October 3rd.
Oh and before I begin - these questions come from the fabulous Joey (cuz my teensy weensy brain is shot)! Thank you Joey - I owe you one!
1. If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?
I am the love child of Monica and Chandler :-) Self Deprecating humor? CHECK! OCD tendencies? CHECK! That is all.
2. If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?
I always wanted to be a writer. That was really well written huh? lol
3. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?
An interior designer or architect or writer
4. Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?
Excellent question. I believe that SOULMATE and ONE TRUE LOVE are two different things. I believe that your soulmate can be anyone, lover, friend, relative etc just someone who completes your soul. And I believe that you can have multiple soulmates, ones who complete you in different ways but still a completion. As far as one true love? Eh. I go back and forth on this one. Sometimes I believe it because DUH, hello romantic movies!! Who doesn't want to believe that there is that ONE person out there for you?!?! But then I start to think, well shit where is MY ONE? So that is when I start to think that there isn't just one because you aren't the same person looking for the same things/traits etc all your life.
5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Whew. I am one big stress ball. I'm a list maker and planner (ahem see question #1). Normally I would have been packed for Chicago LAST week. And I would be 95% packed for my move coming the week after Chicago. However, all that has been done is making lists and thinking about planning to start to pack. (yes getting ready to start to get ready). My dear Lori is surprised, but I needed her to explain me to myself and this is what she said, I'm sure she won't mind me sharing lol (oh and the Julie she references is a therapist):
I think you are in a constant state of testing yourself and challenging yourself. That could be part of it.
Plus -- this "Leaving Him" thing has ALWAYS been something in the FUTURE. When you talked about it, you felt sane because you knew you had to do it, but you felt safe beacuse you knew you were not doing it right away. Ever since I re-connected with you, it's been something that you planned to do .... but "not now".
So, you decided to look for houses. That was safe because that takes TIME.
Then, you deided to look for apartments. You found one.
AHA! Justification to wait -- CHICAGO!!! Not that it's just an excuse, and I do think you would have left on Oct 1 if not for Chicago .... but it conveniently played into the "I AM LEAVING IN THE FUTURE" mentality. There is security in your living situation with Chris. I'll leave the analysis of the word Security to Julie ... but that's what it is. Of course you want to leave. That's logical. But there's an entirely illogical part of you that is secure in staying.
It's all kinda obvious, but it's also probably so deep in you that even you don't recognize it.
You'll move. Don't worry about if/what/when to pack -- it'll happen.
As for not packing for Chicago, I would guess it's an unfortunate by-product of the OTHER topic. Also, in your mind, "as soon as you get back from Chicago, you are moving out" .. so if you don't pack for Chicago, them moving out will STILL be in the future.
She knows me so well. I hope, but cannot guarntee it, to be packed for Chicago by Sunday night, or at least 95% of the way. Packing for the move? I will think about that on October 3rd.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I got on a tramp
A trampoline that is...
It was Lori's birthday last week & she invited me along with her family to our friends house. It was nice, no C and no alcohol....hey it is possible to have a blast without a drink! :-) I have not laughed (giggled) like that in a looooong time.
Lori forewarned me that she was going to require that I get on the trampoline, and there would be photographic evidence. I've never been on one before! Hellllloooo fatty!! I told her that I should have worn a better bra, because it was quite likely I was going to end up with two black eyes! Hellllloooooo Nat Geo boobies!! Anyway...yadda yadda yadda....I tramped, and I now know what Jiffy Pop feels like....
Pay no attention to my face, I enjoy the definitive non fatness of the Carmie in this picture....thank you to the photographer & friend Lori :)
It was Lori's birthday last week & she invited me along with her family to our friends house. It was nice, no C and no alcohol....hey it is possible to have a blast without a drink! :-) I have not laughed (giggled) like that in a looooong time.
Lori forewarned me that she was going to require that I get on the trampoline, and there would be photographic evidence. I've never been on one before! Hellllloooo fatty!! I told her that I should have worn a better bra, because it was quite likely I was going to end up with two black eyes! Hellllloooooo Nat Geo boobies!! Anyway...yadda yadda yadda....I tramped, and I now know what Jiffy Pop feels like....
Pay no attention to my face, I enjoy the definitive non fatness of the Carmie in this picture....thank you to the photographer & friend Lori :)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Ahhhhh
The clog hath passed! Yippeee!!! Thanks for the advice regarding papaya enzyme, I did take some (usually it helps but this time it didn't) and I have some at home in my desk in my purse and in my car lol
I don't know what I did to get it down...maybe it was the hot drink (ahem salted caramel mochas are evil but delish!)
Holy stucky!
Man this sucks...I've been stuck since dinner last night...no pb's or slime just sitting like a brick. Bleh
Monday, September 12, 2011
It's going to be a long 26 days...
26 days...that is how much longer I have to put up with living here with him. I THOUGHT it was good, I THOUGHT it was going to be no issue...well apparently that is true until you take C and add vodka. Then the stupid comments start, how I've been cock blocking him from getting laid for the past 3 years and that he has been talking to all of our friends for at least the past year about how he was going to ask me to move out. RIIIIGGGGHHHHHTTTT. I know him better than he thinks and I know that most of that isn't true, it's just him trying to save face. And him telling me that his mother is heartbroken? Trying to make me feel guilty. Blah blah.
I am going to do a little bullet list to make me feel better, this list is called "Things I Will Not Miss"
SIGH. I woke up with a migrane this morning, thought I could tough it out & drove 45 minutes to work. Walked in, went straight to the bathroom, threw up (real one, not pb) & turned around drove 45 minutes back home back to bed. Slept for 5 hours, woke up, threw up again, back to sleep for 2 more hours. Then I went to get a chocolate malted milk shake. Yup, I sure did. And I don't feel guilty at all. It was the first thing I had all day, aside from water, so that is that. C tried to make me feel guilty about it, but when it is coming from a man jamming a 20 piece order of nuggets followed by 2 double cheese burgers, it is EXTREMELY easy to ignore comments like that.
Love you guys...
I am going to do a little bullet list to make me feel better, this list is called "Things I Will Not Miss"
- The hair, all over the place. This man could be in the world records for most body hair, and he sheds.
- The q tips, he uses 3 every morning and attempts to throw them in the garbage. Shaq he isn't because not a single one makes it in.
- The towers of empty beer cans & bottles
- The pile of unwashed dishes that are constantly in the sink
- The take out containers and bags in the bedroom
- The constant fart smell in the house, he has serious bowel issues
- **DRAZ AVERT YOUR EYES** Regarding those bowel issues, I need to be very in tune with when I have to go, because once he sits on the toliet, he is there for a minimum of 45 minutes. Then there are the floaters he leaves, not to mention the ass fuzz (again the man is a hairy fuck) that he leaves on the seat.
- I won't see him eat as often as I do now. This guy, who had gastric bypass surgery, eats more than anyone I know. And he jams these giant bites in his mouth then proceedes to talk with his mouth full.
SIGH. I woke up with a migrane this morning, thought I could tough it out & drove 45 minutes to work. Walked in, went straight to the bathroom, threw up (real one, not pb) & turned around drove 45 minutes back home back to bed. Slept for 5 hours, woke up, threw up again, back to sleep for 2 more hours. Then I went to get a chocolate malted milk shake. Yup, I sure did. And I don't feel guilty at all. It was the first thing I had all day, aside from water, so that is that. C tried to make me feel guilty about it, but when it is coming from a man jamming a 20 piece order of nuggets followed by 2 double cheese burgers, it is EXTREMELY easy to ignore comments like that.
Love you guys...
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Good day + crappy stuff = ???
So when you have a good day and crappy stuff happens during that good day...does it cancel out? I'm going with NO. Or at least I'm WORKING on it...
Yesterday was so good because I signed my lease! Yayyyyy!!! I met the landlord and realtor at the apartment, I poked arouind some more because last time I saw it the power was out due to the hurricane. I still love it! It's a small place that is perfect for me :-) The landlord said that she was putting in a brand new refrigerator and kitchen floor because she just doesn't like it lol She also said that I could move in anytime I want after September 22, she doesn't care. I'll meet the realtor that week to get the keys and go there to clean & crap (not literally lol) but the full move won't take place until Columbus day weekend. Sorry but I have a BOOBS to squeeze and kiss!!!
And speaking of those BOOBS....damn. Did you see I was BOOB of the day yesterday? What you guys wrote made me cry at work. The I forwarded the link to my friend Lori (the only non blog person I've shared my blog with) and you guys made HER cry at work! Thank you and welcome to my new followers!!
Then I went to my brother & sister in laws house to babysit the boys since it was Lisa's birthday earlier this week. Yes, me, the chick with no kids and no real babysitting experience VOLUNTEERED (did I spell that right? It looks weird...) to babysit a rambunctious 3 year old and a 2 MONTH old. WTF. Yeah young Mr Hudson (the 2 month old) screamed bloody murder for...oh I don't know it felt like forever!! But it was still great because he cried himself tired and fell asleep in my arms. Then when he woke up he just cuddled and stared at me smiling the whole time.
My bro and Lisa got home around 10 so I decided to go home (it's an hour drive)....as I was driving to the highway some dumb ass young chick decided to pull a u-turn right in front of me! I slammed on my brakes & by the time we hit I was pretty much stopped so the damage is very minimal. Just a few scrapes on my right front bumper. I was so frazzled I didn't call the cops and just got on the highway, then I got a text that forced me to get off the next exit and go back to my bro's house for the night.
Before I tell you what the text said I will tell you that C and I talked this week. We really talked. About how hard this will be but that our relationship has been over for 2 years or more. We talked about how we will always be in each others lives and will always love each other (this looks familiar as I type it so I apologize if I'm repeating!) yadda yadda yadda Sooooo....the text message read..."are you coming home tonight?" my response "yeah i'm on my way" him "oh cause if you weren't i was going to set up some boom boom" (aka he was going to have a chick over to screw) I called him to tell him to do what he wants and about the accident. OK....fine....we had that discussion, I'm moving out, we don't have sex and haven't in over a year (yup.) so why shouldn't he hook up with someone? But really? Did he have to ask me to not come home so he can? Couldn't he go to her house? Or go old school and use the back seat? Or it was a nice night out last night, spread a fucking blanket out and be all romantic and shit. Yeah, it pissed me off. Right the fuck off. It was disrespectful, and I told him so when I got home today.
I went shopping this morning and bought some stuff for the apartment :-) Yayy! Oh and I bought the green dress! And I feel compelled to mention, that while that gray dress was a size 12...I am in no way actually wearing a size 12! On top, sure I may be that size, but once my hips ass & stomach are involved 14's & 16's are for me!
I'm smiling, and I'm happy. (I'll keep repeating that until it is 100% true...)
Yesterday was so good because I signed my lease! Yayyyyy!!! I met the landlord and realtor at the apartment, I poked arouind some more because last time I saw it the power was out due to the hurricane. I still love it! It's a small place that is perfect for me :-) The landlord said that she was putting in a brand new refrigerator and kitchen floor because she just doesn't like it lol She also said that I could move in anytime I want after September 22, she doesn't care. I'll meet the realtor that week to get the keys and go there to clean & crap (not literally lol) but the full move won't take place until Columbus day weekend. Sorry but I have a BOOBS to squeeze and kiss!!!
And speaking of those BOOBS....damn. Did you see I was BOOB of the day yesterday? What you guys wrote made me cry at work. The I forwarded the link to my friend Lori (the only non blog person I've shared my blog with) and you guys made HER cry at work! Thank you and welcome to my new followers!!
Then I went to my brother & sister in laws house to babysit the boys since it was Lisa's birthday earlier this week. Yes, me, the chick with no kids and no real babysitting experience VOLUNTEERED (did I spell that right? It looks weird...) to babysit a rambunctious 3 year old and a 2 MONTH old. WTF. Yeah young Mr Hudson (the 2 month old) screamed bloody murder for...oh I don't know it felt like forever!! But it was still great because he cried himself tired and fell asleep in my arms. Then when he woke up he just cuddled and stared at me smiling the whole time.
My bro and Lisa got home around 10 so I decided to go home (it's an hour drive)....as I was driving to the highway some dumb ass young chick decided to pull a u-turn right in front of me! I slammed on my brakes & by the time we hit I was pretty much stopped so the damage is very minimal. Just a few scrapes on my right front bumper. I was so frazzled I didn't call the cops and just got on the highway, then I got a text that forced me to get off the next exit and go back to my bro's house for the night.
Before I tell you what the text said I will tell you that C and I talked this week. We really talked. About how hard this will be but that our relationship has been over for 2 years or more. We talked about how we will always be in each others lives and will always love each other (this looks familiar as I type it so I apologize if I'm repeating!) yadda yadda yadda Sooooo....the text message read..."are you coming home tonight?" my response "yeah i'm on my way" him "oh cause if you weren't i was going to set up some boom boom" (aka he was going to have a chick over to screw) I called him to tell him to do what he wants and about the accident. OK....fine....we had that discussion, I'm moving out, we don't have sex and haven't in over a year (yup.) so why shouldn't he hook up with someone? But really? Did he have to ask me to not come home so he can? Couldn't he go to her house? Or go old school and use the back seat? Or it was a nice night out last night, spread a fucking blanket out and be all romantic and shit. Yeah, it pissed me off. Right the fuck off. It was disrespectful, and I told him so when I got home today.
I went shopping this morning and bought some stuff for the apartment :-) Yayy! Oh and I bought the green dress! And I feel compelled to mention, that while that gray dress was a size 12...I am in no way actually wearing a size 12! On top, sure I may be that size, but once my hips ass & stomach are involved 14's & 16's are for me!
I'm smiling, and I'm happy. (I'll keep repeating that until it is 100% true...)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I didn't get it...
BUT...that dress there...in the picture? Is a size 12. A MOFOing twelve. Two sixes. Half of 24. Which coincidentally I was wishing I was in when I was squeezing into 28 jeans. I won't go into how dresses are different...I'll just be happy that I tried on a size 12 in something and it fit. It freaking FIT.
My fashion consultants vetoed it because it doesn't do anything for me, and I agree! That bubble hem is just....weird! The green one from LB is going to be mine :-)
My fashion consultants vetoed it because it doesn't do anything for me, and I agree! That bubble hem is just....weird! The green one from LB is going to be mine :-)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Ummm....
I'm so freaking witty...I couldn't think of a title :-)
So, thank you for your comments and texts and emails regarding my post from yesterday. I was asked if it was BOOBS or blog related, but mostly BOOBS related. There may have been one text threatening to kick someones ass if it was (ok I'm paraphrasing)
One thing I didn't share regarding real life last week was the fact that I visited a therapist for the first time in many many moons. One thing that was discussed was how Carmen (maybe someday she will discuss the 3rd person narratives...) tends to surround herself with big personalities, mostly content to sit back and enjoy the show. But inevitably there will come a time when these big personalties overpower and outshine Carmen therefore making Carmen "invisible." I don't want to be the center of attention, but some attention would be nice. I don't say much or have much to contribute, but when I do, it is because (I think) it is funny, relevant or important to the situation. Just because you didn't notice or remember me doesn't me I am not worth noticing or remembering.
Moving on.
As a teenager I never suffered from acne or pimples. Every now & then I'd get a big pimple, and POOF! It would be gone the next morning. Same thing with my brother. My mom said that the only time she ever broke out was when she was pregnant. I am saddened to report that my forehead looks like a relief map. Tons of bumps. I don't even know if I would call them pimples (since they never come to a head) or if they are clogged pores. Either way it pisses me off!! I'm using all sorts of crap to try and get rid of them, but nothing seems to be working! I've been trying to avoid any products with salacylic acid, but I think I might have to bite the bullet. I'm sure it has to do with my lack of water. Any today I was rewarded with a cute pimple right on the edge of my lip, of COURSE it headed up and of COURSE I picked at it (I very very rarely "pick" pimples etc) so of course it looks like I have a nice dose of herpes lol
Right now I'm "masking" with my go-to mask by 0rigins it's called Cle@r Impr0vement. Somethings gotta help! Any suggestions???
So, thank you for your comments and texts and emails regarding my post from yesterday. I was asked if it was BOOBS or blog related, but mostly BOOBS related. There may have been one text threatening to kick someones ass if it was (ok I'm paraphrasing)
One thing I didn't share regarding real life last week was the fact that I visited a therapist for the first time in many many moons. One thing that was discussed was how Carmen (maybe someday she will discuss the 3rd person narratives...) tends to surround herself with big personalities, mostly content to sit back and enjoy the show. But inevitably there will come a time when these big personalties overpower and outshine Carmen therefore making Carmen "invisible." I don't want to be the center of attention, but some attention would be nice. I don't say much or have much to contribute, but when I do, it is because (I think) it is funny, relevant or important to the situation. Just because you didn't notice or remember me doesn't me I am not worth noticing or remembering.
Moving on.
As a teenager I never suffered from acne or pimples. Every now & then I'd get a big pimple, and POOF! It would be gone the next morning. Same thing with my brother. My mom said that the only time she ever broke out was when she was pregnant. I am saddened to report that my forehead looks like a relief map. Tons of bumps. I don't even know if I would call them pimples (since they never come to a head) or if they are clogged pores. Either way it pisses me off!! I'm using all sorts of crap to try and get rid of them, but nothing seems to be working! I've been trying to avoid any products with salacylic acid, but I think I might have to bite the bullet. I'm sure it has to do with my lack of water. Any today I was rewarded with a cute pimple right on the edge of my lip, of COURSE it headed up and of COURSE I picked at it (I very very rarely "pick" pimples etc) so of course it looks like I have a nice dose of herpes lol
Right now I'm "masking" with my go-to mask by 0rigins it's called Cle@r Impr0vement. Somethings gotta help! Any suggestions???
Monday, September 5, 2011
Invisibility cloak...
I've always been the quiet one. The one who sits back and observes. Content to watch and not be the center of attention. But it sucks, really fucking sucks when people forget I am here or was there for a story they are telling.
Being invisible by choice is one thing. Being forgotten is another.
Friday, September 2, 2011
BYOC :-)
BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy….5 little questions we ask to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!
1. If you have a camera and have the time – take the contents of your purse out – and take a picture of said contents and explain them. If you don’t have time or a camera – please describe the contents of your purse.
OMG ok first I must admit that I HATE carrying a purse, but I do it. Why do I hate it? Because currently in my purse is: wallet; wristlet w/ ipod touch, ipod shuffle, earbuds & wire for ipod; car keys for 2 different cars; house keys for 3 different houses; coupon carrier; 4 different note pads; 8 pens; 2 sharpies; foldable reuseable shopping bag; wristlet w/ womans products; 2 packs of gum; 1/2 roll of life savers; present that i bought for Gilly like 6 months ago (I sure hope I remember to bring it to Chicago!); 2 check books; the realize band replica from last years BOOBS bag; date book from 2009; bottle of allergy medicine; bottle of ibuprophen; ton of change; 18 frequent shopper coins for a grocery store; 2 lip glosses; cigar cutter; then cosmetic bag (containing face powder, bottle opener, papaya enzyme, antacids, listerine strips, perfume, lip liner, carmex, rosebud salve, bobby pins, sanitary wipes, chapstick, hand lotion, hair elastics and tweezers)
I always win those scavenger purse hunts at parties.
2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing if you have a relationship with this person or if the person even exists and you try to describe the person in 5 words or short sentences.
• Your kindergarten teacher
Sweet, patient, smelled like vanilla, obese, dead at a young age
3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure / trashy TV show you like to watch?
I am soooooo addicted to tv!! It is going to be hard for me not to have cable. But since so much is online these days I think I will be ok...but not DVR? THE HORRORS!!! My guilty pleasure is Americas Next Top Model! It is the only reality show that I was every season.
4. A lot of you told me about your first day of school experiences when I posted about how my 5 year old going to kindergarten wasn’t causing me too much heartache. So now I’m officially asking – tell me about one of your first day of school experiences that sticks out in your mind the most. Who put you on the bus? Did you ride the bus? Did your parents take pics? Did they walk you into school? Drive you there? Cook you breakfast?
One thing that ALWAYS happened was that every year before school started, my mom would take a day off work and we would have a Mommy & Carmen day. We would go to the mall & I'd get new school clothes, then I'd get my hair cut, then we would have lunch (or dinner by that point in the day!) I don't remember my parents taking pictures, cooking breakfast, walk me to school, I took the bus and since we lived in apartment complexes my friends and I walked to the bus together, I was never driven to school but sometimes after an extracurricular activity my mom would forget to pick me up and I would have to take the city bus home.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Hmm...well blog land, I have been slacking this week....because....
This coming Friday I will be signing the lease on that cute little apartment!!!! WHOA. It is in a small (8 unit) condo complex, mostly owner occupied. One bedroom, 2nd floor, balcony, lots of great closet space... I will actually get the keys either the day I leave for Chicago or the day after I get back lol Then the first full weekend on October will be moving day. I haven't told C about the apartment yet, I'm waiting until the lease is signed. He made a comment yesterday about how a friend of our and I could get an apartment together, I told him that I was going to live by myself that I wasn't meant to live with other people lol I think that the conversation will go ok.
Photo comparison time!!! We went to the Patri0ts game yesterday. Before surgery, I bought my jerseys on that E auction site, because I need 3x or 4x. I couldn't WAIT until I could get an actual ladies jersey, and no, not a pink one!! So I walked right into the pro shop yesterday, walked right the the ladies section and got me a jersey!
This was me stretching the seams of a 3x jersey...
And this is me wearing my XXL ladies jersey, I could have gone with the XL but in the winter I wear shirts, sweaters or sweatshirts under the jersey...
Side note....why do guys have such a hard time taking one simple pic??? And maybe I should think about a new hairdo? lol
1. If you have a camera and have the time – take the contents of your purse out – and take a picture of said contents and explain them. If you don’t have time or a camera – please describe the contents of your purse.
OMG ok first I must admit that I HATE carrying a purse, but I do it. Why do I hate it? Because currently in my purse is: wallet; wristlet w/ ipod touch, ipod shuffle, earbuds & wire for ipod; car keys for 2 different cars; house keys for 3 different houses; coupon carrier; 4 different note pads; 8 pens; 2 sharpies; foldable reuseable shopping bag; wristlet w/ womans products; 2 packs of gum; 1/2 roll of life savers; present that i bought for Gilly like 6 months ago (I sure hope I remember to bring it to Chicago!); 2 check books; the realize band replica from last years BOOBS bag; date book from 2009; bottle of allergy medicine; bottle of ibuprophen; ton of change; 18 frequent shopper coins for a grocery store; 2 lip glosses; cigar cutter; then cosmetic bag (containing face powder, bottle opener, papaya enzyme, antacids, listerine strips, perfume, lip liner, carmex, rosebud salve, bobby pins, sanitary wipes, chapstick, hand lotion, hair elastics and tweezers)
I always win those scavenger purse hunts at parties.
2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing if you have a relationship with this person or if the person even exists and you try to describe the person in 5 words or short sentences.
• Your kindergarten teacher
Sweet, patient, smelled like vanilla, obese, dead at a young age
3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure / trashy TV show you like to watch?
I am soooooo addicted to tv!! It is going to be hard for me not to have cable. But since so much is online these days I think I will be ok...but not DVR? THE HORRORS!!! My guilty pleasure is Americas Next Top Model! It is the only reality show that I was every season.
4. A lot of you told me about your first day of school experiences when I posted about how my 5 year old going to kindergarten wasn’t causing me too much heartache. So now I’m officially asking – tell me about one of your first day of school experiences that sticks out in your mind the most. Who put you on the bus? Did you ride the bus? Did your parents take pics? Did they walk you into school? Drive you there? Cook you breakfast?
One thing that ALWAYS happened was that every year before school started, my mom would take a day off work and we would have a Mommy & Carmen day. We would go to the mall & I'd get new school clothes, then I'd get my hair cut, then we would have lunch (or dinner by that point in the day!) I don't remember my parents taking pictures, cooking breakfast, walk me to school, I took the bus and since we lived in apartment complexes my friends and I walked to the bus together, I was never driven to school but sometimes after an extracurricular activity my mom would forget to pick me up and I would have to take the city bus home.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Hmm...well blog land, I have been slacking this week....because....
This coming Friday I will be signing the lease on that cute little apartment!!!! WHOA. It is in a small (8 unit) condo complex, mostly owner occupied. One bedroom, 2nd floor, balcony, lots of great closet space... I will actually get the keys either the day I leave for Chicago or the day after I get back lol Then the first full weekend on October will be moving day. I haven't told C about the apartment yet, I'm waiting until the lease is signed. He made a comment yesterday about how a friend of our and I could get an apartment together, I told him that I was going to live by myself that I wasn't meant to live with other people lol I think that the conversation will go ok.
Photo comparison time!!! We went to the Patri0ts game yesterday. Before surgery, I bought my jerseys on that E auction site, because I need 3x or 4x. I couldn't WAIT until I could get an actual ladies jersey, and no, not a pink one!! So I walked right into the pro shop yesterday, walked right the the ladies section and got me a jersey!
This was me stretching the seams of a 3x jersey...
And this is me wearing my XXL ladies jersey, I could have gone with the XL but in the winter I wear shirts, sweaters or sweatshirts under the jersey...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
BOOBS fun facts!! **EDITED**
- How did you pick your blog name? I have the band and I like music :-)
- When did you start blogging? ummm....fall of 2009? something like that...
- Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc) Carmie with the band....a little of life a little of life with the band
- Did you go to BOOBs 2010? ohhhh yeahhhhhh
- When were you banded? 2/23/2010
- How much have you lost? ummm....since consult day 104... since surgery day 83...since last BOOBS 20
- What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs? seeing all my BOOBS and meeting new BOOBS!
- What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011? make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other goooolllllddddd.....
- Children? Pets? nope and nope
- Who is your roomie? the infamous and fabulous duo of Draz and Jenny!!!
- What day do you arrive? Thursday
- What airport/flight/time? O'Hare, between 1030 and 11 pm
- What events are you signed up for? the walking tour on Friday and having fun fun fun till daddy takes the t-bird away!!
- Hobbies? i'm a woman in transition
- Career? my career is being a chick...i have a job in customer service which is funny cause i am a nasty bitch! ;-)
- Single? Married? In a relationship? yeahhhhhhh.....no comment
- Your birthday month? December 21, and no I don't get gipped on presents and no, it really doesn't suck having a birthday that close to Christmas...just don't give me a Christmas card and write "P.S. Happy Birthday" or give me a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper :-)
- What do you want other BOOBs to know about you? my heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read....i am a terrific friend and i got your back (and your front if you are lucky!)... i swear like a trucker drink like a fish smoke like a chimmney laugh like i mean it smile when i feel it and love like it's the last thing i'll ever do....but anyone who knows me knows that this answer doesn't even begin to tell you anything about me :-)
P.P.S. Gilly...PM dear PM like post mortem :-)
P.P.S.S. Gilly....hell yeah motorboat
P.P.P.S.S. Barb...can't wait for it I need it...BAD
P.P.P.S.S.S. Dawnya...werd
Monday, August 29, 2011
I pulled the trigger....
Got the ball rolling, laid my cards on the table etc etc etc..... I told C yesterday about my plans.... As a recap what follows in italics is a post I did in April of 2010, since I took all my blogs down many of you don't know the back story...
"4-2010 As Zara and Bonnie pointed out I hadn't really said what happened with the "talk" on Saturday other than saying that it happened. It wasn't that I was deliberately not saying anything...well no, that's not true. I wasn't saying anything because frankly I was boring MYSELF with talk of it, I didn't want any of you to feel the same :-) But since I was asked, I will certainly share! One little tidbit about Carmen, she usually keeps things to herself, but if you ask she will tell anything and everything you want to know about her.
So it started Friday night. I met up with him and his friend at a bar (after they played poker), his friend left after awhile and we were just kind of quietly sitting there people watching. He was looking at me with the look that says "I have something to say but I don't know how to say it" so I prompted him with "What do you want to say?" He sighed and said "So are we going to make it?" I was taken aback, not what I was expecting him to say. I looked at him and just shook my head. Yadda yadda yadda....he has been upset because he feels like I don't have his back. He came into some money a few months ago and has been wanting me to look into wholesalers for stuff to sell on ebay. I haven't communicated to him with what I found and I apologized for that. Ummm...that pretty much ended Friday night.
Then Saturday morning he crawled into bed with me and put some amorous moves on me. I told him that I thought we were going to talk, and he said that he was trying to fix one part he wanted to talk about. Sex between us. It didn't happen, I told him that we don't have chemistry any more, that we were more like friends than lovers. We agreed that we don't have good communication and that we would work on that. Then I dropped the bomb. That I don't want to get married, he said he is ok with that. That I don't want to have kids, he is not ok with that. First of all, I was told that I can't have kids, Secondly, I can't imagine having kids without my mom around. And a whole bunch of other reasons. He suggested that we become Mormon and I can be the "main woman" and he'll get another woman to have his kids while he & I have fun. I told him how ridiculous that was and I wasn't going to be part of his concubine fantasty. Umm...yeah, he was probably 75% serious on that idea!
We didn't resolve anything, just laid it all out on the table. He told me that he knew that moving to Portland is an option for me and that he understands my need to be near my brother. He said that he wants me to be happy and if that means me moving to Portland, he will be upset, but he won't try to stop me. We left it at that we would re-visit the conversation in a few weeks.
Ummm...that's pretty much it. Things have been ok since then, I slept with him (meaning in the same bed) twice since then. Maybe someday I'll do a blog about sex, but I can't guarantee it. I will just say that I have issues with it and specific issues about it with him."
Back to present day....yesterday I decided was going to be THE day, that I told him. I had NO idea what I was going to say or how to say it. But after an adult beverage (or 2) I mustered up the courage. I went and sat next to him, put my arm around him and he snuggled in. I said "umm, I think we need to talk" I felt him stiffen up and he said "About what?" I said "I think that we need to revisit the conversation that we started last year..." He said "okay..." and proceeded to straighten up and move to the end of the couch. I was quiet for a few moments, struggling for the words, and just said "I'm not so sure that we should live together anymore" he immediately said "do you have some place to go?" I told him about going to my brothers & looking for an apartment, he questioned if I could afford it and I assured him that I could. Then he said "Well as long you don't move out tomorrow..." then nothing...for quite a long time. Just sat there watching tv, not changing the channel during the commercials which he always does so I know he was thinking. After about 10-15 minutes I asked him what he thought, and he said "do what makes you happy" and I pushed to find out what HE felt about it. Again he said "you have to do what makes you happy." So that is that.
Of course later on in the night the passive agressive comments started, along the lines of "well what does it matter to you, you are moving out" etc etc etc.
It is the right thing to do, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it is extremely difficult. We are great friends, I do love him, I'm sos close to his family, and we have been together for 7 years! That is a freaking marriage! Technically it is a commonlaw marriage!
I don't know what my future holds, but I am on the right track. And I thank heaven for all the friends and support that I have!!!
"4-2010 As Zara and Bonnie pointed out I hadn't really said what happened with the "talk" on Saturday other than saying that it happened. It wasn't that I was deliberately not saying anything...well no, that's not true. I wasn't saying anything because frankly I was boring MYSELF with talk of it, I didn't want any of you to feel the same :-) But since I was asked, I will certainly share! One little tidbit about Carmen, she usually keeps things to herself, but if you ask she will tell anything and everything you want to know about her.
So it started Friday night. I met up with him and his friend at a bar (after they played poker), his friend left after awhile and we were just kind of quietly sitting there people watching. He was looking at me with the look that says "I have something to say but I don't know how to say it" so I prompted him with "What do you want to say?" He sighed and said "So are we going to make it?" I was taken aback, not what I was expecting him to say. I looked at him and just shook my head. Yadda yadda yadda....he has been upset because he feels like I don't have his back. He came into some money a few months ago and has been wanting me to look into wholesalers for stuff to sell on ebay. I haven't communicated to him with what I found and I apologized for that. Ummm...that pretty much ended Friday night.
Then Saturday morning he crawled into bed with me and put some amorous moves on me. I told him that I thought we were going to talk, and he said that he was trying to fix one part he wanted to talk about. Sex between us. It didn't happen, I told him that we don't have chemistry any more, that we were more like friends than lovers. We agreed that we don't have good communication and that we would work on that. Then I dropped the bomb. That I don't want to get married, he said he is ok with that. That I don't want to have kids, he is not ok with that. First of all, I was told that I can't have kids, Secondly, I can't imagine having kids without my mom around. And a whole bunch of other reasons. He suggested that we become Mormon and I can be the "main woman" and he'll get another woman to have his kids while he & I have fun. I told him how ridiculous that was and I wasn't going to be part of his concubine fantasty. Umm...yeah, he was probably 75% serious on that idea!
We didn't resolve anything, just laid it all out on the table. He told me that he knew that moving to Portland is an option for me and that he understands my need to be near my brother. He said that he wants me to be happy and if that means me moving to Portland, he will be upset, but he won't try to stop me. We left it at that we would re-visit the conversation in a few weeks.
Ummm...that's pretty much it. Things have been ok since then, I slept with him (meaning in the same bed) twice since then. Maybe someday I'll do a blog about sex, but I can't guarantee it. I will just say that I have issues with it and specific issues about it with him."
Back to present day....yesterday I decided was going to be THE day, that I told him. I had NO idea what I was going to say or how to say it. But after an adult beverage (or 2) I mustered up the courage. I went and sat next to him, put my arm around him and he snuggled in. I said "umm, I think we need to talk" I felt him stiffen up and he said "About what?" I said "I think that we need to revisit the conversation that we started last year..." He said "okay..." and proceeded to straighten up and move to the end of the couch. I was quiet for a few moments, struggling for the words, and just said "I'm not so sure that we should live together anymore" he immediately said "do you have some place to go?" I told him about going to my brothers & looking for an apartment, he questioned if I could afford it and I assured him that I could. Then he said "Well as long you don't move out tomorrow..." then nothing...for quite a long time. Just sat there watching tv, not changing the channel during the commercials which he always does so I know he was thinking. After about 10-15 minutes I asked him what he thought, and he said "do what makes you happy" and I pushed to find out what HE felt about it. Again he said "you have to do what makes you happy." So that is that.
Of course later on in the night the passive agressive comments started, along the lines of "well what does it matter to you, you are moving out" etc etc etc.
It is the right thing to do, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it is extremely difficult. We are great friends, I do love him, I'm sos close to his family, and we have been together for 7 years! That is a freaking marriage! Technically it is a commonlaw marriage!
I don't know what my future holds, but I am on the right track. And I thank heaven for all the friends and support that I have!!!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Beee Why Ohhhh Seeee
BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy – 5 little questions you can copy and paste to your own blog in an effort to get to know your fellow bloggers better and to give your blogging brain a break.
Enjoy!
1. What is your blog theme and how did you pick your blog name?
My theme is...Carmen :-) I wish I could say it is all band & weight loss related, but quite a bit of my life pops in. I don't even want to fathom a guess about percentages... I guess if I were blogging more about the band etc I would be a heck of a lot more successful! That is not to say that I don't think I am successful, I think I have done very well so far. My trip ain't over yet!
My blog name? I don't even recall...I would be comfortable saying that since the other blogs I was reading had some sort of mention to the word "band" I wanted to as well, and being a music fan this was pretty much the first thing that popped into my head.
2. Repeat question: I’m going to name a person not knowing anything about this person in your life or even if they exist and you need to try to describe them in five words/phrases.
Female neighbor two homes/doors down to the left
Welll....I live pretty much in the ghetto...2 doors down is an office of some sort...but THREE houses down the female that lives there (I only know this from the newspaper) is/was the girlfriend of a 23 year old guy who got shot 2 times on the front porch about 3 weeks ago and was left to die. He left behind a 2 year old. My street was closed pretty much all day. Is it wrong that I feel safer knowing that it was a drug thing rather than a random shooting?? Oh...I went over the 5 words/phrases...sorry Draz...you can spank me if you want....
3. Which do you hate more? Spiders or snakes. Elliptical or treadmill. Hannah Montana or Lindsay Lohan.
Well, the only snake that I have encountered (aside from the TROUSER snake) is a little garter (or is it gartner?) snake that slithered by me a few years ago, and I was oddly uneffected. However, one time I got into a car accident because there was a spider on the steering wheel as I was driving tells me that I hate spiders more. Oddly enough I have a not so secret obsession with Spider-Man, no, not Tobey Maguire, just Spider-Man. I used to have a bathroom completely done in Spider-Man crap.
The treadmill, it's boring, I don't feel like I am doing anything, and it makes me dizzy. Weird, I know.
Hannah Montana, hands down. She's a douche who needs to achy breaky her way outta here.
4 Completely selfish question…I need a dress for Chicago…keep in mind I live in Podunk so the options of physically going into a vast array of stores is VERY limited. (thank God for the internet) When you need something fancy/a dress – what is your go to store and why?
Carmie no wear dresses. Oh...you saw that post of me in the dress? Yeah, I'm gonna buy that. And another one kinda like it. That I just might wear in Chicago... And for you Chicago newbies who are freaking out saying "WTF I gotta get a FAAANCY dress?!" I would like to go on record and say "NO" wear what you want. Last year I wore black pants and a pretty sweater, I fancied up by putting a flower in my hair and wearing my "party" make-up. People were dressing in everything from fancy sparkly party dresses to dress pants and a pretty sweater and everything in between!!! It's not a fashion show, although you might see some strutting cuz we are all hot bitches ;-) We are all there to love & support each other, whilst having a grand old time!!
5. Repeat question: How was your week in blog land and in real life?
I think I am doing a little better with more consistent..... HOLY SHIT....I hate my laptop......I had about 3 paragraphs of shit typed here and something happened and it all disappeared! CRAP. That blows giant donkey dong. Guess that is what you get when you let a chick with a buzz try to copy and paste shit. Did I spell "disappeared" right? It looks like it has too many E's but it doesn't look right the other way either...oh well....
Enjoy!
1. What is your blog theme and how did you pick your blog name?
My theme is...Carmen :-) I wish I could say it is all band & weight loss related, but quite a bit of my life pops in. I don't even want to fathom a guess about percentages... I guess if I were blogging more about the band etc I would be a heck of a lot more successful! That is not to say that I don't think I am successful, I think I have done very well so far. My trip ain't over yet!
My blog name? I don't even recall...I would be comfortable saying that since the other blogs I was reading had some sort of mention to the word "band" I wanted to as well, and being a music fan this was pretty much the first thing that popped into my head.
2. Repeat question: I’m going to name a person not knowing anything about this person in your life or even if they exist and you need to try to describe them in five words/phrases.
Female neighbor two homes/doors down to the left
Welll....I live pretty much in the ghetto...2 doors down is an office of some sort...but THREE houses down the female that lives there (I only know this from the newspaper) is/was the girlfriend of a 23 year old guy who got shot 2 times on the front porch about 3 weeks ago and was left to die. He left behind a 2 year old. My street was closed pretty much all day. Is it wrong that I feel safer knowing that it was a drug thing rather than a random shooting?? Oh...I went over the 5 words/phrases...sorry Draz...you can spank me if you want....
3. Which do you hate more? Spiders or snakes. Elliptical or treadmill. Hannah Montana or Lindsay Lohan.
Well, the only snake that I have encountered (aside from the TROUSER snake) is a little garter (or is it gartner?) snake that slithered by me a few years ago, and I was oddly uneffected. However, one time I got into a car accident because there was a spider on the steering wheel as I was driving tells me that I hate spiders more. Oddly enough I have a not so secret obsession with Spider-Man, no, not Tobey Maguire, just Spider-Man. I used to have a bathroom completely done in Spider-Man crap.
The treadmill, it's boring, I don't feel like I am doing anything, and it makes me dizzy. Weird, I know.
Hannah Montana, hands down. She's a douche who needs to achy breaky her way outta here.
4 Completely selfish question…I need a dress for Chicago…keep in mind I live in Podunk so the options of physically going into a vast array of stores is VERY limited. (thank God for the internet) When you need something fancy/a dress – what is your go to store and why?
Carmie no wear dresses. Oh...you saw that post of me in the dress? Yeah, I'm gonna buy that. And another one kinda like it. That I just might wear in Chicago... And for you Chicago newbies who are freaking out saying "WTF I gotta get a FAAANCY dress?!" I would like to go on record and say "NO" wear what you want. Last year I wore black pants and a pretty sweater, I fancied up by putting a flower in my hair and wearing my "party" make-up. People were dressing in everything from fancy sparkly party dresses to dress pants and a pretty sweater and everything in between!!! It's not a fashion show, although you might see some strutting cuz we are all hot bitches ;-) We are all there to love & support each other, whilst having a grand old time!!
5. Repeat question: How was your week in blog land and in real life?
I think I am doing a little better with more consistent..... HOLY SHIT....I hate my laptop......I had about 3 paragraphs of shit typed here and something happened and it all disappeared! CRAP. That blows giant donkey dong. Guess that is what you get when you let a chick with a buzz try to copy and paste shit. Did I spell "disappeared" right? It looks like it has too many E's but it doesn't look right the other way either...oh well....
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
In my head
Sometimes I spend too much time in my head, WAY too much time in my head. It can be a dark, scary, strange, wonderful, sparkly, foreign, weird, trippy place. Kind of like the factory from Willy Wonka, complete with the scary boat ride, but minus the candy and Oompa Loompas...most of the time....but I digress.
Ummm....so I stepped away to go grab my dinner (a few slices of turkey & cheese rolled up) and I totally forgot what my point was going to be. Damn. Guess it wasn't important!!
I saw my brother & his family yesterday quite unexpectedly. He called me at work & asked me to meet them right away. They had to go into a "meeting" with her ex-husband and needed someone to watch the boys. Without going into detail, hopefully my brother's stepson won't be seeing much of his father. Aside from the situation, it was great to see the boys, and the baby took a bottle for the first time, from his loving Auntie Carmie!!
My brother & I had a brief but deep conversation about me moving in with them. He tends to speak before thinking and had me second guessing my choice to take them up on their offer. (Umm..did I tell you that they offered their in-law suite-ish room? ) Now I just need to have the convo with C since we decided on mid-October for my move. Unless of course I win the lottery between now & then!
So "they" say that it takes how long to make something a habit? Well riddle me this...how come it takes me about 2.2 seconds to make something bad a habit (or to get out of a good habit) but for-fucking-ever to make something a good habit? I just realized today that I don't think about working out, or going to the gym...EVER. I totally "forgot" about it. Every once in awhile I think, yeah I'll do that when I go to the gym...or I'll download that song for my workout playlist....but I just don't do it. So along those lines...when I move in with my brother (which incidentally is an hour north of where I currently live and the town I lived in from age 4 to 32) I will be able to join the gym that my old trainer owns. His workouts aren't Crossfit by name, but definitely like it. I put his picture here to show you how ridiculously hot he is but then I got wicked embarassed by the thought of him or his gf finding this page! I'm such a dork!
Ummm....so I stepped away to go grab my dinner (a few slices of turkey & cheese rolled up) and I totally forgot what my point was going to be. Damn. Guess it wasn't important!!
I saw my brother & his family yesterday quite unexpectedly. He called me at work & asked me to meet them right away. They had to go into a "meeting" with her ex-husband and needed someone to watch the boys. Without going into detail, hopefully my brother's stepson won't be seeing much of his father. Aside from the situation, it was great to see the boys, and the baby took a bottle for the first time, from his loving Auntie Carmie!!
My brother & I had a brief but deep conversation about me moving in with them. He tends to speak before thinking and had me second guessing my choice to take them up on their offer. (Umm..did I tell you that they offered their in-law suite-ish room? ) Now I just need to have the convo with C since we decided on mid-October for my move. Unless of course I win the lottery between now & then!
So "they" say that it takes how long to make something a habit? Well riddle me this...how come it takes me about 2.2 seconds to make something bad a habit (or to get out of a good habit) but for-fucking-ever to make something a good habit? I just realized today that I don't think about working out, or going to the gym...EVER. I totally "forgot" about it. Every once in awhile I think, yeah I'll do that when I go to the gym...or I'll download that song for my workout playlist....but I just don't do it. So along those lines...when I move in with my brother (which incidentally is an hour north of where I currently live and the town I lived in from age 4 to 32) I will be able to join the gym that my old trainer owns. His workouts aren't Crossfit by name, but definitely like it. I put his picture here to show you how ridiculously hot he is but then I got wicked embarassed by the thought of him or his gf finding this page! I'm such a dork!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
I just didn't know....
So Carmie doesn't wear skirts or dresses...aside from weddings or Halloween. But I saw this dress in the LB catalog and I decided that I wanted to try it on. My dear Lori and I were meeting for dinner and therapy (lol) I informed her of my plan and she was game to give her honest opinion. Off to LB we go, they only had it in army green, I wanted black for many reasons. But Lori talked me into trying it on anyway. Then she grabbed the knee high boots for the full effect...I wouldn't get the boots there because they are just not what I want...but the dress? Yeah....I just didn't know...that I looked like that! (btw the white stuff on the boots is just the tissue protecting the boots from the buckles) and I have no idea how to line them up..and sorry that they are small pics!
At 300 pounds I really didn't know what I looked like...truly...
I knew I was fat....but I didn't think I looked like that....wow...That red t-shirt? that is a 26/28....that dress up there? It's a 16...I definitely could go with a 14 on the top but it would be pushing it around the hips, especially when I sit down.
I will buy the dress....it will be in black (because I have an outfit planned :-) ) and MAYBE in the green. I am getting the boots from Tahrgeet. Oh and I did by this fab jacket from LB...in a 14.
I'm a hot bitch!!
Oh and as a follow up...the "big" things coming...nothing that I didn't already talk about. So no big surprises...well maybe...I don't know what is around the corner!! And my comment that I want to "BE more" I was merely saying that....eh I don't know how to explain it...I want to be still, I want to be in the moment, I want to...BE. Can someone tell me how to say what I mean? LOL
At 300 pounds I really didn't know what I looked like...truly...
I will buy the dress....it will be in black (because I have an outfit planned :-) ) and MAYBE in the green. I am getting the boots from Tahrgeet. Oh and I did by this fab jacket from LB...in a 14.
I'm a hot bitch!!
Oh and as a follow up...the "big" things coming...nothing that I didn't already talk about. So no big surprises...well maybe...I don't know what is around the corner!! And my comment that I want to "BE more" I was merely saying that....eh I don't know how to explain it...I want to be still, I want to be in the moment, I want to...BE. Can someone tell me how to say what I mean? LOL
Friday, August 19, 2011
BYOC and a new look!!
It’s Friday so that means over there in Draz Land it’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy!
We answer just a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break!
Copy to your own blog if you wish and ENJOY!
1. How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?
I wear mascara most days and lip gloss all day everyday...and blot powder gets added throughout the day at work because I've been oily and super shiny!! Lately I've been thinking I should wear more on a regular basis, because my skin is super uneven... When I go out I will put on eyeliner, sometimes eye shadow and powder. Yes, I am the girl that used to work at make up counters lol
2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.
Your oldest paternal aunt
Don't know my dad's side
3. Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.
15 and was with a boy that lived in the neighborhood, totally by surprise...but funnily enough just a few months before that with my first boyfriend the first kiss, just a peck, and one time he freaked me out by shoving his tounge in my mouth and i ran away lol
4. If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?
breast cancer awareness...or autism for some reason i am very drawn toward it and autistic kids....for example last weekend we went to a party & there was a couple there that has TWO autistic kids...the boy was definitely more withdrawn than the girl...when i woke up that morning i said to C "i want to get bubbles and be that drunk girl blowing bubbles at the party" so i got bubbles...and i sat on a blanket blowing bubbles and the autistic boy came & sat beside me for about an hour blowing bubbles with me...his parents later told me that he never goes to strangers, much less sits beside them for an hour....
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
I'm trying to blog more, and I'm trying to BE more
Do you like my new look? The fabulous Jenny designed it for me! And as Joey once said... "Of COURSE it's houndstooth!"
We answer just a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break!
Copy to your own blog if you wish and ENJOY!
1. How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?
I wear mascara most days and lip gloss all day everyday...and blot powder gets added throughout the day at work because I've been oily and super shiny!! Lately I've been thinking I should wear more on a regular basis, because my skin is super uneven... When I go out I will put on eyeliner, sometimes eye shadow and powder. Yes, I am the girl that used to work at make up counters lol
2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.
Your oldest paternal aunt
Don't know my dad's side
3. Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.
15 and was with a boy that lived in the neighborhood, totally by surprise...but funnily enough just a few months before that with my first boyfriend the first kiss, just a peck, and one time he freaked me out by shoving his tounge in my mouth and i ran away lol
4. If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?
breast cancer awareness...or autism for some reason i am very drawn toward it and autistic kids....for example last weekend we went to a party & there was a couple there that has TWO autistic kids...the boy was definitely more withdrawn than the girl...when i woke up that morning i said to C "i want to get bubbles and be that drunk girl blowing bubbles at the party" so i got bubbles...and i sat on a blanket blowing bubbles and the autistic boy came & sat beside me for about an hour blowing bubbles with me...his parents later told me that he never goes to strangers, much less sits beside them for an hour....
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
I'm trying to blog more, and I'm trying to BE more
Do you like my new look? The fabulous Jenny designed it for me! And as Joey once said... "Of COURSE it's houndstooth!"
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Woman on the Verge
So I'm not sure if this is something everyone will get or just us East Coasters... but FYI when you see something at the Chr!stmas Tr33 Sh0p...BUY IT! Because when you go back even a mere 3 days later, the giant bin of a gajillion of those things will be gone. POOF. Grrrr.
I just read a whole bunch of blogs, commented on a few, got TONS of ideas of things I want to say. So I click the "new post" button, type the title, then watched the Pats score, and WHOOSH....all those lovely thoughts are gone! POOF. Grrrr.
Last year, before BOOBS, Draz told me (or commented on one of my posts) that she and Jenny felt like I was on the verge of something big. At the time I thought "Psssh...right. Who are these broads & why do they think they know me?" Hey kids, I am here to tell you. The Draz Knows. I felt like that needed to be capitalized. And for those of you who like me want shit to happen 2 seconds ago, and not have to wait for the slow boat from China...I have 3 words...WAIT FOR IT. I am a firm believer in karma, destiny, fate, MEANT TO BE. Sure that shitty thing that happened was shitty, SUPER shitty, but without it, that other thing wouldn't have happened.
Just a few short weeks ago I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering on the edge, about to fall over into the pit of despair. Now? I feel like I am climbing the cliffs of (semi) insanity, and I am close to the top. Well shit...2 Princess Bride references in one paragraph? INCONCEIVEABLE!! Holy shit I am dork!
Hmm....maybe that Effexor has kicked in? :-D
I'm going to repeat (not verbatim because I already forgot) part of a comment I just left on Amey's post..."Don't you just love Stephanie and how she breaks through all the bullshit with a phrase like 'douche canoe' " No seriously..think about it....DOUCHE CANOE. Discuss.
Speaking of douches...I have this obsession. When I go to a store, I LOVE to check out what other people are buying. I wish I had the brain power right now to have a funny list like dude buying race cars, twizzlers, a mt dew & a box of condoms? Yeah, virgin. But that is all I have. What was my point...oh yeah...douches. So this one time (at band camp...) in the Mart-Wal, this woman in front of me was buying a lacy negligee, shaving cream, a razor, a clip on pony tail, a TUBE of KY (yes like your gyno uses) and 6....yes kiddos SIX boxes of douche. STRAWBERRY SCENTED DOUCHE. Oh...douchberry. The douchberries taste like douchberries!!! Yeah...I'm kinda loco tonight!
I just read a whole bunch of blogs, commented on a few, got TONS of ideas of things I want to say. So I click the "new post" button, type the title, then watched the Pats score, and WHOOSH....all those lovely thoughts are gone! POOF. Grrrr.
Last year, before BOOBS, Draz told me (or commented on one of my posts) that she and Jenny felt like I was on the verge of something big. At the time I thought "Psssh...right. Who are these broads & why do they think they know me?" Hey kids, I am here to tell you. The Draz Knows. I felt like that needed to be capitalized. And for those of you who like me want shit to happen 2 seconds ago, and not have to wait for the slow boat from China...I have 3 words...WAIT FOR IT. I am a firm believer in karma, destiny, fate, MEANT TO BE. Sure that shitty thing that happened was shitty, SUPER shitty, but without it, that other thing wouldn't have happened.
Just a few short weeks ago I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering on the edge, about to fall over into the pit of despair. Now? I feel like I am climbing the cliffs of (semi) insanity, and I am close to the top. Well shit...2 Princess Bride references in one paragraph? INCONCEIVEABLE!! Holy shit I am dork!
Hmm....maybe that Effexor has kicked in? :-D
I'm going to repeat (not verbatim because I already forgot) part of a comment I just left on Amey's post..."Don't you just love Stephanie and how she breaks through all the bullshit with a phrase like 'douche canoe' " No seriously..think about it....DOUCHE CANOE. Discuss.
Speaking of douches...I have this obsession. When I go to a store, I LOVE to check out what other people are buying. I wish I had the brain power right now to have a funny list like dude buying race cars, twizzlers, a mt dew & a box of condoms? Yeah, virgin. But that is all I have. What was my point...oh yeah...douches. So this one time (at band camp...) in the Mart-Wal, this woman in front of me was buying a lacy negligee, shaving cream, a razor, a clip on pony tail, a TUBE of KY (yes like your gyno uses) and 6....yes kiddos SIX boxes of douche. STRAWBERRY SCENTED DOUCHE. Oh...douchberry. The douchberries taste like douchberries!!! Yeah...I'm kinda loco tonight!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
For the heck of it
Bleh, I keep starting a post introducing myself because I realized I took all my posts down and you new followers might not know anything about me! I tried doing bullet points, then a paragraph then I said F-it lol And I just almost deleted this one too! Grrr....el numero uno thing you need to know about this chick is that she is a DORK! :-)
I'm going shopping with my friend Lori Friday, I realized I need to find an outfit for Chicago! It's coming soon!!!
I'm going shopping with my friend Lori Friday, I realized I need to find an outfit for Chicago! It's coming soon!!!
Friday, August 12, 2011
The art of shaving
Is NOT something that I excel at. I hate shaving my legs. In addition to having a magic wand to body sculpt, I wish I had one to wave over my legs and all the hair magically disappear.
Not only is my skin really fair and sensitive, but my hair is really dark, thick & coarse. I have tried cream hair removers, but I usually get a rash. When I shave I always get cut and razor burn. I very rarely shave my thighs because my hair there grows every which way. Literally. Upways, downways, sideways, slantway, backways....you get the picture.
It sucks. And I had to do it this morning. I have a lady parts doctor visit, I haven't been in a few years, bad I know, but I am going today. So I did a level 5 shave (as Amy W. calls it lol) and a half hour later my legs are smooth. Well they were until I got out of the shower and got a chill. Goosebumps = stubble popping up. I hate that! Does that happen to you too?
Oh and another thing that sucks about shaving...before surgery there was a LOT of thigh to shave. My arms are only so long lol It was a chore for my fat ass to do it. Now? Yeah...there is a lot of SKIN. Let's just say that it is a friggin BLAST to get a razor caught on a chunk of empty skin. NOT! Bleh.
That is my rant for today :-)
Happy Friday! And in case you didn't know, little Miss Stephanie? Who Dreams of Skinny High Heels? Not only did her skinny ass reach goal, but she is awesome! Chicago is nearly here girls, are you ready? Do you think Chicago is ready? lol Probably not...
Not only is my skin really fair and sensitive, but my hair is really dark, thick & coarse. I have tried cream hair removers, but I usually get a rash. When I shave I always get cut and razor burn. I very rarely shave my thighs because my hair there grows every which way. Literally. Upways, downways, sideways, slantway, backways....you get the picture.
It sucks. And I had to do it this morning. I have a lady parts doctor visit, I haven't been in a few years, bad I know, but I am going today. So I did a level 5 shave (as Amy W. calls it lol) and a half hour later my legs are smooth. Well they were until I got out of the shower and got a chill. Goosebumps = stubble popping up. I hate that! Does that happen to you too?
Oh and another thing that sucks about shaving...before surgery there was a LOT of thigh to shave. My arms are only so long lol It was a chore for my fat ass to do it. Now? Yeah...there is a lot of SKIN. Let's just say that it is a friggin BLAST to get a razor caught on a chunk of empty skin. NOT! Bleh.
That is my rant for today :-)
Happy Friday! And in case you didn't know, little Miss Stephanie? Who Dreams of Skinny High Heels? Not only did her skinny ass reach goal, but she is awesome! Chicago is nearly here girls, are you ready? Do you think Chicago is ready? lol Probably not...
Monday, August 8, 2011
Public service announcement...
When you are down to the dregs of your undie drawer and you decide on a pair that is 2 sizes too big, you might want to avoid wearing a pad. You just might find out exactly how sticky the sticky strip is.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Don't fall off your stool
WTF! I was in the middle of typing & my whole post vanished! Dang it!
Anyway...I said don't fall off your stool because I was posting yet again this week...
Then I started to tell you the story of how a friend of mine & C's (because I am going to stop calling him the bf...) told me last night that C told her & her husband (R&C) that once he got back on his feet he was going to ask me to move out. According to R this idea was cemented in when he saw the spare room my bro & sis-in-law have. I had a momentary concern that he found this blog...but I really don't think so...He knows of it's existence, and I'm sure he has seen the link, but I really don't believe he would have the patience or the desire to search for me on here (crossing fingers lol) So now I don't feel so guilty or scared or anxious or whatever about having the discussion with him. But I am still going to wait until I have something more definitive than "I'm just looking." Know what I mean? (R also said that C told them that he thinks that I've been talking to and/or seeing other guys and that he hopes that I find someone that makes me happy....he's not a total ass :-) )
This morning my dear friend Lori & her darling daughter Cassie met me to take a look at that apartment I was interested in. It's not going to happen, at least now. The model I am interested in is way out of my price range, the only model they have available (which would be mid-October, which would be cool timing wise...) is one that I am not overly interested in. Plus there is a monthly "common area fee" that I didn't know about. Oh and the bathroom is weird, and I got a distinctive "motel" feel from the place. When we got there, the rental agent was a little backed up and there was a cute young guy waiting for a tour as well. The rental agent asked if I minded if he came with us, I said no. He made a comment about my Yank33s t-shirt since he was a B0ston fan LOL Remember him, there will be a point to him later!
Lori, Cassie & I went to lunch (OG, I tried to eat pasta fagioli soup, didn't go down so well, I took it home) then I headed to a beauty store. While in there C called. He had just finished a sales call a few towns over and asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch, I said sure! But Carmen, you just finished lunch with Lori & Cassie, why are you going to another lunch 20 minutes later???? Well, because I told C that I was going into work for a few hours! lol So I go meet C...order chili, take one bite, whoops I'm "stuck" (not really but I just left OG! lol) Yet another to go container!! But here is where it gets all it's a small fucking world-ish...the door opens and who walks in? Hmm...any guesses?!?! Yup, the dude from the apartment!! OMG, dude do NOT look this way and if you do, do NOT say anything! Bleh. I hate lying. Although, in hindsight, it definitely would have gotten the convo going! I just want to have something to show if I am going to have the conversation, know what I mean? I just think that the time between me telling him that I am THINKING about it to when I ACTUALLY move out is going to be...weird (to say the least!)
Hmm....I do believe that is all I have to say about that :-)
Anyway...I said don't fall off your stool because I was posting yet again this week...
Then I started to tell you the story of how a friend of mine & C's (because I am going to stop calling him the bf...) told me last night that C told her & her husband (R&C) that once he got back on his feet he was going to ask me to move out. According to R this idea was cemented in when he saw the spare room my bro & sis-in-law have. I had a momentary concern that he found this blog...but I really don't think so...He knows of it's existence, and I'm sure he has seen the link, but I really don't believe he would have the patience or the desire to search for me on here (crossing fingers lol) So now I don't feel so guilty or scared or anxious or whatever about having the discussion with him. But I am still going to wait until I have something more definitive than "I'm just looking." Know what I mean? (R also said that C told them that he thinks that I've been talking to and/or seeing other guys and that he hopes that I find someone that makes me happy....he's not a total ass :-) )
This morning my dear friend Lori & her darling daughter Cassie met me to take a look at that apartment I was interested in. It's not going to happen, at least now. The model I am interested in is way out of my price range, the only model they have available (which would be mid-October, which would be cool timing wise...) is one that I am not overly interested in. Plus there is a monthly "common area fee" that I didn't know about. Oh and the bathroom is weird, and I got a distinctive "motel" feel from the place. When we got there, the rental agent was a little backed up and there was a cute young guy waiting for a tour as well. The rental agent asked if I minded if he came with us, I said no. He made a comment about my Yank33s t-shirt since he was a B0ston fan LOL Remember him, there will be a point to him later!
Lori, Cassie & I went to lunch (OG, I tried to eat pasta fagioli soup, didn't go down so well, I took it home) then I headed to a beauty store. While in there C called. He had just finished a sales call a few towns over and asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch, I said sure! But Carmen, you just finished lunch with Lori & Cassie, why are you going to another lunch 20 minutes later???? Well, because I told C that I was going into work for a few hours! lol So I go meet C...order chili, take one bite, whoops I'm "stuck" (not really but I just left OG! lol) Yet another to go container!! But here is where it gets all it's a small fucking world-ish...the door opens and who walks in? Hmm...any guesses?!?! Yup, the dude from the apartment!! OMG, dude do NOT look this way and if you do, do NOT say anything! Bleh. I hate lying. Although, in hindsight, it definitely would have gotten the convo going! I just want to have something to show if I am going to have the conversation, know what I mean? I just think that the time between me telling him that I am THINKING about it to when I ACTUALLY move out is going to be...weird (to say the least!)
Hmm....I do believe that is all I have to say about that :-)
Friday, August 5, 2011
Fridays are for ME
Well at least every other Friday...at work they allow us to work "summer hours" meaning every other week you can work 9 hours a day Monday through Thursday then on Friday 4 hours. I've been doing that. And not telling him. I get out of work at 1230, just in time to catch the 1-ish movie. Then I putz around until it is time to head home. One Friday it even worked out that I caught a double feature lol
So what did I do today after the movies? I went window shopping. For my (anticipated) new apartment :-) I almost bought something but the lines were way too long, but I will go back. These are a few decorations that I want....that round tube is a stick on tree because I'm not Draz and I can't draw lol plus the place I'm hoping for is a complex and I don't think they'll let me paint. I don't mind...I can decorate!
I'm going to see the place tomorrow!
Xoxo
So what did I do today after the movies? I went window shopping. For my (anticipated) new apartment :-) I almost bought something but the lines were way too long, but I will go back. These are a few decorations that I want....that round tube is a stick on tree because I'm not Draz and I can't draw lol plus the place I'm hoping for is a complex and I don't think they'll let me paint. I don't mind...I can decorate!
I'm going to see the place tomorrow!
Xoxo
Monday, August 1, 2011
I can't resist a long one
A survey that is :-) My darling dear Stephanie posted this...hey Steph wanna hear something funny? When I was a kid I got twin Cabbage Patch kids, a boy & girl blonde hair & blue eyes...I forget what names they came with but I changed them to my favorite names. The boy was Brian James (because I had a crush on a boy in my class named that) and the girl was Stephanie Marie :-) I just remembered that!
1. What is your occupation right now ?
A customer service rep for a mortgage servicing company
2.What color are your socks right now?
Black
3. What are you listening to right now?
Rookie Blue (excellent show), the gas station nextdoor and my tummy gurgling
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Turkey & cheese rollups dipped in horseradish sandwich sauce (hence the tummy gurgle lol)
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
First time I ever drove was stick, but that was the last time....like Steph I'm sure I could if I HAD to
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
the bf
7. Do you like the person you stole this blog from?
nope...I LOVE HER! :-)
8. How old are you today?
As of 8/1/2011 7:24:58 PM EDT
36 years old, 440 months old, 1,911 weeks old, 13,372 days old, 320,947 hours old, 19,256,844 minutes old and 1,155,410,698 seconds old.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
FOOTBALL!!! Thank goodness the lockout was resolved!!
10. What is your favorite drink?
Iced Tea, Twisted Tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Aside from highlights, I only dyed my hair totally once....1990 for Halloween I decided I wanted to be Laura Palmers cousin from Twin Peaks, my mom got me a box of black temporary dye, my hair was super thick all one length to the middle of my back, ONE box of dye...oh and it turned out to be permanent....I had basically tie-dyed hair for about 4 years lol
12. Favorite food?
Pizza, mexican....oh...i mean salads and protein shakes of course! lol
13. What is the last movie you watched?
In the theater, "The Smurfs" on tv "Runaway Bride"
14. Favorite day of the year?
eh....my birthday?
15. How do you vent anger?
depends on what I'm angry about....mostly I bottle till it bubbles over then all bets are off
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Smurfs and books
17. What is your favorite season?
Crisp days of fall
18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Ok I'm a total weirdo but I don't like either fresh cherries or blueberries! I like both flavors though! Like in pie or muffins....
19. Do you want your friends to blog this survey?
Yeah I like to know silly crap about people!
20. Where is you favorite place to escape?
my head, or the beach
21. Favorite Tv Show?
I'm a total tv addict...I have way too many to name...but I too am a total "Lostie"
22. Living arrangements?
See previous posts
23. When was the last time you cried?
this morning
24. What is on the floor of your closet?
laundry basket, basket of shoes, bucket of hangers, scale
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
my brother
26. What did you do last night?
might have had a beverage or two
27. What are you most afraid of?
gaining all the weight back and not following through on moving out and finding myself still in this relationship situation 7 years from now
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
man I fucking miss burgers....can't for the life of me eat them anymore :-( BOO
29. Favorite dog breed?
Men
30. Favorite day of the week?
Friday
31. How many states have you lived in?
Hmm...Indiana, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Massachusetts & Connecticut....maybe Virginia in there too not really sure...we moved to Connecticut when I was 4 and it is all I remember (well a few vague memories from Mass and one from Tennessee...)
32. Diamonds or pearls?
Don't really care about either one
33. What is your favorite flower?
Gerbera Daisy
1. What is your occupation right now ?
A customer service rep for a mortgage servicing company
2.What color are your socks right now?
Black
3. What are you listening to right now?
Rookie Blue (excellent show), the gas station nextdoor and my tummy gurgling
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Turkey & cheese rollups dipped in horseradish sandwich sauce (hence the tummy gurgle lol)
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
First time I ever drove was stick, but that was the last time....like Steph I'm sure I could if I HAD to
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
the bf
7. Do you like the person you stole this blog from?
nope...I LOVE HER! :-)
8. How old are you today?
As of 8/1/2011 7:24:58 PM EDT
36 years old, 440 months old, 1,911 weeks old, 13,372 days old, 320,947 hours old, 19,256,844 minutes old and 1,155,410,698 seconds old.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
FOOTBALL!!! Thank goodness the lockout was resolved!!
10. What is your favorite drink?
Iced Tea, Twisted Tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Aside from highlights, I only dyed my hair totally once....1990 for Halloween I decided I wanted to be Laura Palmers cousin from Twin Peaks, my mom got me a box of black temporary dye, my hair was super thick all one length to the middle of my back, ONE box of dye...oh and it turned out to be permanent....I had basically tie-dyed hair for about 4 years lol
12. Favorite food?
Pizza, mexican....oh...i mean salads and protein shakes of course! lol
13. What is the last movie you watched?
In the theater, "The Smurfs" on tv "Runaway Bride"
14. Favorite day of the year?
eh....my birthday?
15. How do you vent anger?
depends on what I'm angry about....mostly I bottle till it bubbles over then all bets are off
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Smurfs and books
17. What is your favorite season?
Crisp days of fall
18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Ok I'm a total weirdo but I don't like either fresh cherries or blueberries! I like both flavors though! Like in pie or muffins....
19. Do you want your friends to blog this survey?
Yeah I like to know silly crap about people!
20. Where is you favorite place to escape?
my head, or the beach
21. Favorite Tv Show?
I'm a total tv addict...I have way too many to name...but I too am a total "Lostie"
22. Living arrangements?
See previous posts
23. When was the last time you cried?
this morning
24. What is on the floor of your closet?
laundry basket, basket of shoes, bucket of hangers, scale
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
my brother
26. What did you do last night?
might have had a beverage or two
27. What are you most afraid of?
gaining all the weight back and not following through on moving out and finding myself still in this relationship situation 7 years from now
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
man I fucking miss burgers....can't for the life of me eat them anymore :-( BOO
29. Favorite dog breed?
Men
30. Favorite day of the week?
Friday
31. How many states have you lived in?
Hmm...Indiana, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Massachusetts & Connecticut....maybe Virginia in there too not really sure...we moved to Connecticut when I was 4 and it is all I remember (well a few vague memories from Mass and one from Tennessee...)
32. Diamonds or pearls?
Don't really care about either one
33. What is your favorite flower?
Gerbera Daisy
Hello Again!
Do ya'll remember that Shelly Long movie? Where she choked on the chicken ball? LOL! No, not an actual chicken testicle! Wait, do chickens even have balls? OMG Cocks with balls! HA! Ok I can honestly say that this has all been free writing lol I knew I was going to post, I just had no idea what to say so I just started typing...and that is what you get....cocks with balls.... but really, from me, Carmen, did you really expect less? Or more depending on how you look at it!
Not much has changed...still wearing my poopy pants...but I do have an appointment on Saturday morning with the leasing office of a complex that I really like the apartments and I feel like I need to be there. I talked to my brother over the weekend, and he told me about a conversation that he had with his wife. Apparently she told him that I should move in with them. The former owners had someone living there that was disabled so there is a bedroom with it's own bathroom & entrance etc....almost like an in-law suite but without the kitchen set-up. I gave it some thought, then I gave it some more thought....and I vetoed it. There are many pros & cons...biggest con? Aside for about 3 months 5 years ago, I've never had my OWN place. I lived on my own for a total of a year or so, but it was in my mothers condo. All her stuff. After she died. If I went to live with my bro & his family, I would have less space than I do now, even more of my stuff would be in storage. One thing that I am struggling with now is being stifiled, suffocating....pick the adjective. My biggest "thing"? The fact that all my books are in storage, and HAVE been in storage for nearly 5 years. When I was planning on moving in with my friend Lori many many many moons ago (the 90's) I set up my bookcase & my books probably about a month (?) before I actually moved in, and I would go over and visit my books lol Dork. But having my books in storage is like having my soul in storage. (Oh that is deep) Anyway, long story short, I am at the point in my life (36, 37 in about 4 months GASP!) that I need to grow the fuck up and get my own place. Suck it up. Thank you for all your words, thoughts and suggestions on my last post :-) Best part about budgeting is being banded, food budget is WAYYYY less lol.
I cannot wait for Chicago, it's gonna be a blast squeezing all you boobs! I'm going to go through the list & figure out who I'm not following & try to catch up! Speaking of following new (to me) people...awhile back I started following somone, cannot remember her name....but I don't think she's on my list anymore (not quite sure why...) but I know that I really liked her, I think she is a teacher, maybe in Texas? She used to take pics of herself in the mirror of a public bathroom, I remember she wore this shirtdress, a couple times with knee high boots, I think....Do ya'll know who she is?
I'm itching for a new tattoo...maybe Chicago? Draz wanna get inked? :-)
Hmmm...what else to share with you? Not much else is new...Oh how about some ideas how to have THE convo with the bf? Been together for 7 years....he knows I'm not happy and he's not happy either....do I play up the "I need to grow up and be on my own" angle or what??
Not much has changed...still wearing my poopy pants...but I do have an appointment on Saturday morning with the leasing office of a complex that I really like the apartments and I feel like I need to be there. I talked to my brother over the weekend, and he told me about a conversation that he had with his wife. Apparently she told him that I should move in with them. The former owners had someone living there that was disabled so there is a bedroom with it's own bathroom & entrance etc....almost like an in-law suite but without the kitchen set-up. I gave it some thought, then I gave it some more thought....and I vetoed it. There are many pros & cons...biggest con? Aside for about 3 months 5 years ago, I've never had my OWN place. I lived on my own for a total of a year or so, but it was in my mothers condo. All her stuff. After she died. If I went to live with my bro & his family, I would have less space than I do now, even more of my stuff would be in storage. One thing that I am struggling with now is being stifiled, suffocating....pick the adjective. My biggest "thing"? The fact that all my books are in storage, and HAVE been in storage for nearly 5 years. When I was planning on moving in with my friend Lori many many many moons ago (the 90's) I set up my bookcase & my books probably about a month (?) before I actually moved in, and I would go over and visit my books lol Dork. But having my books in storage is like having my soul in storage. (Oh that is deep) Anyway, long story short, I am at the point in my life (36, 37 in about 4 months GASP!) that I need to grow the fuck up and get my own place. Suck it up. Thank you for all your words, thoughts and suggestions on my last post :-) Best part about budgeting is being banded, food budget is WAYYYY less lol.
I cannot wait for Chicago, it's gonna be a blast squeezing all you boobs! I'm going to go through the list & figure out who I'm not following & try to catch up! Speaking of following new (to me) people...awhile back I started following somone, cannot remember her name....but I don't think she's on my list anymore (not quite sure why...) but I know that I really liked her, I think she is a teacher, maybe in Texas? She used to take pics of herself in the mirror of a public bathroom, I remember she wore this shirtdress, a couple times with knee high boots, I think....Do ya'll know who she is?
I'm itching for a new tattoo...maybe Chicago? Draz wanna get inked? :-)
Hmmm...what else to share with you? Not much else is new...Oh how about some ideas how to have THE convo with the bf? Been together for 7 years....he knows I'm not happy and he's not happy either....do I play up the "I need to grow up and be on my own" angle or what??
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Knock knock....
Who's there?
'Member...
'Member me???
Yeah it's me, Carmen. As I told Stephanie (who checked up on me :-) ) I've been hiding under a rock, sticking my head in the sand, sitting on the bottom of my so-called pit of despair. I have been DEEEEEPRESSSSEEEDDDD. I have not worked out since doing the month of Crossfit, I have not lost any weight since February. Which is kind of funny because as you may recall February was my one year anniversary of being banded and when I hit "onederland"...I have not lost a single pound. I was hovering between 199 and 203...until this past week...where everyday I have weighed in at 204. So let me take off my shoes and socks so I can count....yup by my calculation that is a 5 lb gain. WHHHAAAT??? I AM SO SHOCKED!!! Yeah not so much. Ahem....Hi my name is Carmen and I am addicted to food and I secret eat.
Well...secret eating...I only hide it from one person and only sometimes. The bf. He made a comment the other day that pissed me off and prompted a HUGE fight. I don't even want to say what he said because it'll piss me off even more and I'm sure you guys will have a field day with it!! Eh...fuck it. So we were driving back from upstate NY and my cousin had given us a bag of drinks for the road. One bottle was a plain high test full sugar Pepsi. I don't drink a lot of soda, maybe 1-2 a month and even pre-surgery it was always diet, regular was too sweet for me. So anyway...5 hours into the drive I needed a pick me up...so I popped open the Pepsi. And he says "You aren't supposed to be drinking that. I'm really disappointed in some of the choices that you have been making." And proceeded to list the last 10 bad things I had in my mouth (dirty joke anyone?) Umm....this coming from the guy who had gastric bypass surgery approximately 9 years ago and in the past 7 years (since we met) has put on 75+ pounds. At LEAST half of what he lost. Grrr....so my dumb ass gets mad and eats to spite him. Because FUCK him that's why. (Yeah yeah I called myself dumb)
I lost my way. I feel like shit. I have no desire to do anything. I can't stop eating.
My doctor put me on Effexor. We shall see.
I've drafted my budget and I've been looking for apartments. It'll be tight, but I should be able to pull it off. I NEED to pull it off. All you single girls with your own places, how do you do it? All you chicks who are good with money, how the HECK do you do it? I'm a financial idiot! I already know I will have to live without cable....SIGH. I will subscribe to hulu and make do. I am totally addicted to tv. Hmm...2 addiction admissions? Let's go for the trifecta! I cannot stop smoking. I hate it. It's gross. But I can't stop. I haven't had a cig since Sunday, I am jonesing and I have a GIGANTIC headache. The reason why I haven't smoked? Because I have 5 bucks to last me till Friday. Why? WHY you ask? Because fuckstick (bf) decided to quit his job in March. MARCH. So Carmen has been spending all her money. FUUUUUCKKK. Did I tell you that I am totally sucking it with this dang band? Oh, he got a job today and is starting Monday.
Grrrr....
Please don't give up on me! I've been reading a little here & there. Definitely read all the BOOBS posts! I can't wait. I need some BOOBS! lol I hope I can catch up on the new BOOBS. boobs. bboooooobbbbsssss. Geez you would think I was drunk! Nope not a drop! Tonight at least :-)
xoxo
'Member...
'Member me???
Yeah it's me, Carmen. As I told Stephanie (who checked up on me :-) ) I've been hiding under a rock, sticking my head in the sand, sitting on the bottom of my so-called pit of despair. I have been DEEEEEPRESSSSEEEDDDD. I have not worked out since doing the month of Crossfit, I have not lost any weight since February. Which is kind of funny because as you may recall February was my one year anniversary of being banded and when I hit "onederland"...I have not lost a single pound. I was hovering between 199 and 203...until this past week...where everyday I have weighed in at 204. So let me take off my shoes and socks so I can count....yup by my calculation that is a 5 lb gain. WHHHAAAT??? I AM SO SHOCKED!!! Yeah not so much. Ahem....Hi my name is Carmen and I am addicted to food and I secret eat.
Well...secret eating...I only hide it from one person and only sometimes. The bf. He made a comment the other day that pissed me off and prompted a HUGE fight. I don't even want to say what he said because it'll piss me off even more and I'm sure you guys will have a field day with it!! Eh...fuck it. So we were driving back from upstate NY and my cousin had given us a bag of drinks for the road. One bottle was a plain high test full sugar Pepsi. I don't drink a lot of soda, maybe 1-2 a month and even pre-surgery it was always diet, regular was too sweet for me. So anyway...5 hours into the drive I needed a pick me up...so I popped open the Pepsi. And he says "You aren't supposed to be drinking that. I'm really disappointed in some of the choices that you have been making." And proceeded to list the last 10 bad things I had in my mouth (dirty joke anyone?) Umm....this coming from the guy who had gastric bypass surgery approximately 9 years ago and in the past 7 years (since we met) has put on 75+ pounds. At LEAST half of what he lost. Grrr....so my dumb ass gets mad and eats to spite him. Because FUCK him that's why. (Yeah yeah I called myself dumb)
I lost my way. I feel like shit. I have no desire to do anything. I can't stop eating.
My doctor put me on Effexor. We shall see.
I've drafted my budget and I've been looking for apartments. It'll be tight, but I should be able to pull it off. I NEED to pull it off. All you single girls with your own places, how do you do it? All you chicks who are good with money, how the HECK do you do it? I'm a financial idiot! I already know I will have to live without cable....SIGH. I will subscribe to hulu and make do. I am totally addicted to tv. Hmm...2 addiction admissions? Let's go for the trifecta! I cannot stop smoking. I hate it. It's gross. But I can't stop. I haven't had a cig since Sunday, I am jonesing and I have a GIGANTIC headache. The reason why I haven't smoked? Because I have 5 bucks to last me till Friday. Why? WHY you ask? Because fuckstick (bf) decided to quit his job in March. MARCH. So Carmen has been spending all her money. FUUUUUCKKK. Did I tell you that I am totally sucking it with this dang band? Oh, he got a job today and is starting Monday.
Grrrr....
Please don't give up on me! I've been reading a little here & there. Definitely read all the BOOBS posts! I can't wait. I need some BOOBS! lol I hope I can catch up on the new BOOBS. boobs. bboooooobbbbsssss. Geez you would think I was drunk! Nope not a drop! Tonight at least :-)
xoxo
Friday, June 17, 2011
Comments
So I'm trying to catch up on blogs, I know everyone is talking (or was!) about not being able to make comments. Is there a fix that anyone has done? I type a comment out, it asks me to log in (even though I already am) then attempts to post it as anonymous?! WTF
Doing a little BYOC
It has been forevah since I did a BYOC!! Whooowheeee Here we go!!
1. Do you make your bed every day? Tell us about or show us a picture of your bed comforter?
Bleh....ok....If I lived by myself etc yes my bed would be made everyday. I have a solid navy blue down comforter & a funky print sheet set. BUT. The bf was raised by a family who pretty much have the same sheets from 1962. Don't use a mattress pad. Have been known to sleep on the mattress with no sheets. And up until I moved in the bf was using the same pillows he had in high school....he is 39. Long story short our bed consists of a fitted sheet, a down comforter on my side of the bed and a light blanket on his side (he is like a hot water bottle) it is NEVER made. Because if I do make it he will just flop down on top of all the covers and make it near impossible for me to get UNDER the covers. Don't get me started on how he doesn't know how to use a pillow, the man FOLDS a pillow about 4 times and wonders why his neck hurts!!
2. 2. Johnny Cash or Elvis? Thin crust pizza or deep dish? Coke or Pepsi? Beer or wine or neither?
Like both Johnny & Elvis. Any and all pizza please!! Don't really drink it anymore, but I only like Diet Pepsi (not regular) but only like Regular Coke (not diet! but I do like Coke Zero) weird huh? I was always a beer drinker, I miss beer, I can't really drink it anymore, too much carbonation :-( Wine is good, I prefer white or reisling. I usually drink those hard tea things (no carbonation) or a flavored vodka & cranberry.
3. I recently went through my list of blogs I follow and was at my limit so I unfollowed bloggers who haven’t blogged in at least 6 months. I want to start following some more new blogs. Who’s your fave lately? Funniest? Most inspiring? Can you link them for me??
Bleh...can't do it....I have a bunch I need to unfollow, I have my faves, you know who you are lol
4. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
Working on getting back on the wagon, blog & band :-)
1. Do you make your bed every day? Tell us about or show us a picture of your bed comforter?
Bleh....ok....If I lived by myself etc yes my bed would be made everyday. I have a solid navy blue down comforter & a funky print sheet set. BUT. The bf was raised by a family who pretty much have the same sheets from 1962. Don't use a mattress pad. Have been known to sleep on the mattress with no sheets. And up until I moved in the bf was using the same pillows he had in high school....he is 39. Long story short our bed consists of a fitted sheet, a down comforter on my side of the bed and a light blanket on his side (he is like a hot water bottle) it is NEVER made. Because if I do make it he will just flop down on top of all the covers and make it near impossible for me to get UNDER the covers. Don't get me started on how he doesn't know how to use a pillow, the man FOLDS a pillow about 4 times and wonders why his neck hurts!!
2. 2. Johnny Cash or Elvis? Thin crust pizza or deep dish? Coke or Pepsi? Beer or wine or neither?
Like both Johnny & Elvis. Any and all pizza please!! Don't really drink it anymore, but I only like Diet Pepsi (not regular) but only like Regular Coke (not diet! but I do like Coke Zero) weird huh? I was always a beer drinker, I miss beer, I can't really drink it anymore, too much carbonation :-( Wine is good, I prefer white or reisling. I usually drink those hard tea things (no carbonation) or a flavored vodka & cranberry.
3. I recently went through my list of blogs I follow and was at my limit so I unfollowed bloggers who haven’t blogged in at least 6 months. I want to start following some more new blogs. Who’s your fave lately? Funniest? Most inspiring? Can you link them for me??
Bleh...can't do it....I have a bunch I need to unfollow, I have my faves, you know who you are lol
4. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
Working on getting back on the wagon, blog & band :-)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sticking my head in the sand
So....I've been avvoiding blogland. I can't say 100% for sure if it was on purpose, or for a specific reason. I have about 500 PLUS blogs to read, plusI just started following about a million more people on the BOOBS list and I am REALLY irked that you have to go through about 15.7 steps to unfollow someone (seriously why can't the "follow" button turn to "unfollow" once you are following a person??) I am going to make a decision to read posts daily, AND comment. I get a half hour for lunch, I vow to you, my dear friends and followers, to read and comment daily. Normally I am of the school that I only comment when I feel like my comment adds something, but I realize that sometimes a comment that I may think is worthless/cheesy/unimportant etc means the world to the person recieving the comment.
I am still not losing any weight, but I am not gaining either. I am still bouncing bettween 198 and 201, on a fraking daily basis. It is so frustrating because I have ZERO restriction, and I can pretty much eat anything (and everything!)...user error has caused a few stuck moments. It is amazing to me that 5.2 and 5.1 cc's I am way too tight, getting stuck on everything etc. But at 5 cc's I'm basically wide open. Really? That sucks. I know that I need to put more thought and care into my food choices. I know that I need to stop drinking so many calories (alcoholic ones). I need to cut the shit and get back on the band wagon. Period. End of sentence.
After the month of Crossfit ended, I didn't renew the membership. At the time because I just didn't have money and the timing was off because we were heading to Reno & Tahoe. Yadda yadda...now I am back home. Still don't have money, my ass is broke-ity broke. But I NEED to do Crossfit. I went to the regular gym yesterday, tried to do the Crossfit work out...it didn't work. I felt more judged at the regular gym than at the Crossfit gym. Which is hysterical because the regular gym is one with the tag line that they are a "judg e ment fre e zo ne" I am going to FIND the funds and I am going to spring for the one on one trainer. One month at a time.
I am supremely depressed. There is so much that I want to do, and need to do....but....there are a thousand buts. That is all.
On the trip back from Reno & Tahoe we had a layover that turned into an overnight in Chicago. Is it September yet? :-) I'm excited for BOOBS 2011! To see everyone from last year and meet all the new people who didn't go last year. I am rooming with the lovely and infamous Drazil and Jenny...I'm also still crossing my fingers for the 4th roomie to change her mind!
I am also very happy to report that I am an Auntie for the first time!! My bro and sister in law had their son yesterday morning, he is so adorable!!! Oh and I am compelled to add this because in the past day I have heard this question about 20 times.....NO this does not start my clock ticking and NO this does not make me want one of my own. I am very excited to be an Auntie not so much to be a Mommy. :-)
I am still not losing any weight, but I am not gaining either. I am still bouncing bettween 198 and 201, on a fraking daily basis. It is so frustrating because I have ZERO restriction, and I can pretty much eat anything (and everything!)...user error has caused a few stuck moments. It is amazing to me that 5.2 and 5.1 cc's I am way too tight, getting stuck on everything etc. But at 5 cc's I'm basically wide open. Really? That sucks. I know that I need to put more thought and care into my food choices. I know that I need to stop drinking so many calories (alcoholic ones). I need to cut the shit and get back on the band wagon. Period. End of sentence.
After the month of Crossfit ended, I didn't renew the membership. At the time because I just didn't have money and the timing was off because we were heading to Reno & Tahoe. Yadda yadda...now I am back home. Still don't have money, my ass is broke-ity broke. But I NEED to do Crossfit. I went to the regular gym yesterday, tried to do the Crossfit work out...it didn't work. I felt more judged at the regular gym than at the Crossfit gym. Which is hysterical because the regular gym is one with the tag line that they are a "judg e ment fre e zo ne" I am going to FIND the funds and I am going to spring for the one on one trainer. One month at a time.
I am supremely depressed. There is so much that I want to do, and need to do....but....there are a thousand buts. That is all.
On the trip back from Reno & Tahoe we had a layover that turned into an overnight in Chicago. Is it September yet? :-) I'm excited for BOOBS 2011! To see everyone from last year and meet all the new people who didn't go last year. I am rooming with the lovely and infamous Drazil and Jenny...I'm also still crossing my fingers for the 4th roomie to change her mind!
I am also very happy to report that I am an Auntie for the first time!! My bro and sister in law had their son yesterday morning, he is so adorable!!! Oh and I am compelled to add this because in the past day I have heard this question about 20 times.....NO this does not start my clock ticking and NO this does not make me want one of my own. I am very excited to be an Auntie not so much to be a Mommy. :-)
Oh and here is a pic from Tahoe...excuse the jacked up hair goofy facial expression (bf doesn't give any warning, just snaps the pic lol) and lack of make up.....but I like how...NON fat I look :-) The jeans are LB size 16 (14's are still too tight!) and the track jacket is a junior XL from H0t T0p1c :-) And NSV....one flight we were in the exit row with the non moveable arm rests....I had EXTRA room in the seat, about 7 inches on extra seat belt AND I could sit with my legs crossed. Lovely, absolutely lovely!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
360-something + 198 vs. 201 = Carmen going crazy!
Hello my dear sweet friends! I just wanted to pop in and say howdy and that I have not fallen off the face of the map...I am holding on by my weak fingernails!
I currently have over 360 UNREAD posts to read...yikes. Carmie has no time lately. Not quite sure why.
The Crossfit class has ended, I have not signed up as of yet. I'm not 100% sure that I am going to. The last night I cornered the coach and asked him if I should continue on. Based on his professional assessment of me. He said yes, as long as I modified some stuff as we had in the class. Which BTW regarding modifying stuff...the last night I ran the entire 200 m that he wanted us to and did a total of 20 push ups (on the knees kiddies) go me. He also said that he felt I would benefit more from a 1 on 1 situation (trying to upsell me? lol) I'm still weigh options, finances are a big part of the decision.
The bf, his sister & her husband (oh and me) are heading to Reno this weekend. The boys are bowling in a tournament. I'm excited, I have never been to Reno & we are staying on THE lake, about an hour away. Should be a good time. Provided the bf doesn't piss me off & I wander off into the desert...
My brother & sister-in-law are ready to become parents anyday now. Hmm...did I tell you guys that? Remember back in the fall when I said I had 2 big secrets? Well I came clean on one of them, that they were getting married. But I don't think I ever mentioned that they were pregnant. Anyway...they are due 6/20 but she has been having contractions for awhile now. Even went into pre-term labor about a month ago, but everything is fine now. I am fully convinced that they will have the baby while I am away this weekend! They are having a boy and I am very excited since this is my first nephew! Well "real" anyway lol the bf's nephews & niece call me auntie sometimes.
Oh regarding the 198 vs 201....since February when I first saw 198 or 9 whatever it was...I have been bouncing between 198 and 201....what the fiddlesticks??? I'm trying to tell myself that this is where my body wants to be...funk that! It's all good, I'm comfortable where I am. Sure I would like to be in a 14, but 16 is treating me nicely ....for now.
It is crazy the way 5cc's is too loose and 5.1 is too tight.
Hopefully I can access Reader on the plane so I can catch up to you guys!!
xoxo
I currently have over 360 UNREAD posts to read...yikes. Carmie has no time lately. Not quite sure why.
The Crossfit class has ended, I have not signed up as of yet. I'm not 100% sure that I am going to. The last night I cornered the coach and asked him if I should continue on. Based on his professional assessment of me. He said yes, as long as I modified some stuff as we had in the class. Which BTW regarding modifying stuff...the last night I ran the entire 200 m that he wanted us to and did a total of 20 push ups (on the knees kiddies) go me. He also said that he felt I would benefit more from a 1 on 1 situation (trying to upsell me? lol) I'm still weigh options, finances are a big part of the decision.
The bf, his sister & her husband (oh and me) are heading to Reno this weekend. The boys are bowling in a tournament. I'm excited, I have never been to Reno & we are staying on THE lake, about an hour away. Should be a good time. Provided the bf doesn't piss me off & I wander off into the desert...
My brother & sister-in-law are ready to become parents anyday now. Hmm...did I tell you guys that? Remember back in the fall when I said I had 2 big secrets? Well I came clean on one of them, that they were getting married. But I don't think I ever mentioned that they were pregnant. Anyway...they are due 6/20 but she has been having contractions for awhile now. Even went into pre-term labor about a month ago, but everything is fine now. I am fully convinced that they will have the baby while I am away this weekend! They are having a boy and I am very excited since this is my first nephew! Well "real" anyway lol the bf's nephews & niece call me auntie sometimes.
Oh regarding the 198 vs 201....since February when I first saw 198 or 9 whatever it was...I have been bouncing between 198 and 201....what the fiddlesticks??? I'm trying to tell myself that this is where my body wants to be...funk that! It's all good, I'm comfortable where I am. Sure I would like to be in a 14, but 16 is treating me nicely ....for now.
It is crazy the way 5cc's is too loose and 5.1 is too tight.
Hopefully I can access Reader on the plane so I can catch up to you guys!!
xoxo
Monday, May 9, 2011
Goals for this week
One step at a time right? So as I'm on the elliptical before heading to crossfit....yes I'm going back and thank you for your comments last week :-) I thought I'd share ny goals for this week.
Simply enough...elliptical before crossfit....track everything that goes in my mouth even the gum and mints! And finally.....no alcohol until the weekend....another post for another time!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Down...but not out
Yesterday was day 3 of the month long Crossfit class that I signed up for. The first 2 days I felt good, although on day 2 I was SOOOORRREEEE like barely walking sore. It sucked, but in a good way. Then yesterday happened. We did our warm up stretching & crap, then the coach takes us outside to RUN. Yeah, Carmie no runnie. But she did. For a bit. Then stopped and power walked. Feeling defeated for the first time. I was pissed, I thought I was going to do better. Then we moved inside for the main work out. I am still pissed/upset/defeated by the running but I'm trying to focus on the workout and jamming to the good metal that was pumping in the gym. Until I heard the word "SQUAT-THRUSTS." B.S. (before surgery) I could never do them, I got the squatting down, but not the thrusting (HA!) Turns out that A.S. same thing. I just couldn't get my legs to kick back, I half-assed it. Till the coach saw me struggling and suggested another way for me to do them, yeah not working. Yet another suggestion, yup..nope. Please God let the 2 minutes be up so we can move onto the next thing!! Yadda yadda yadda....final stretching as Carmen is relaxing and letting her mind go. Racing thoughts moved in and all I heard was someone (me) telling me that I am still that 300+ fat slob who couldn't walk up the stairs, that I wanted to quit this damn class that obviously I can't do etc etc etc. Then my dumb ass started welling up with tears. The coach saw and I looked away fast. I pulled it together, fully convinced that once I got in my car I was going to lose it. But I didn't. And in spite of every fiber in my being wanting to stop at one of the 3 fast food places I had to pass and binge like I've never binged before....I didn't.
I felt totally and utterly defeated yesterday. By myself. I was in a very bad spot for a bit. But I got out of it. I like this class BECAUSE of what happened yesterday. That will push me FAR. I have a routine, before the class starts I go to the gym and do 15-20 min on the elliptical, who the hell would've thunk that???
I'm good, I just wanted to share this with you guys :-)
I felt totally and utterly defeated yesterday. By myself. I was in a very bad spot for a bit. But I got out of it. I like this class BECAUSE of what happened yesterday. That will push me FAR. I have a routine, before the class starts I go to the gym and do 15-20 min on the elliptical, who the hell would've thunk that???
I'm good, I just wanted to share this with you guys :-)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Yup.
My boss/friend made me call the doctor yesterday and I went for a slight unfill. She took out .2 leaving me with 5 cc's....ahhhh feels better! She joked that we keep playing with the same .1 since September!
NSV....a little retail therapy today and I went to LB (for a belt cause I couldn't find one anywhere else) when I walked in the chick working there said "Damn everytime I see you you keep getting skinnier and skinnier! Get out you can't wear anything in here anymore!" Lol nice!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I'm very proud of myself!
So today, while at lunch, while reading blogs on reader, I had a thought. Yep, just one. I heard one word in my head...."crossfit" off to the search engine I went. Spent a bit reading about it, called, and signed myself up! On Monday I start my month long beginner class. Monday Wednesday and Thursday, from 630-730 I will be busting my ass in these classes. I go on with my bad self!! I am very proud of myself and very excited!!
I have an appointment next Monday, I might ask for a slight unfill, and I might just call tomorrow to push up my appointment. Nearly everyday I get stuck and slime/pb/puke. I really believe it is because of my allergies and post nasal crap swelling everything up. Not good. Not fun. In fact it fucking blows giant donkey dong.
Just wanted to drop a quick line....sticking with my standard "I read all your blogs but on Reader so I can't comment" I <3 you all!!!
I have an appointment next Monday, I might ask for a slight unfill, and I might just call tomorrow to push up my appointment. Nearly everyday I get stuck and slime/pb/puke. I really believe it is because of my allergies and post nasal crap swelling everything up. Not good. Not fun. In fact it fucking blows giant donkey dong.
Just wanted to drop a quick line....sticking with my standard "I read all your blogs but on Reader so I can't comment" I <3 you all!!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Shekago
Apparently I'm into phonetic spelling these days lol
I just booked my flight! Since Monday the price has gone up 70 bucks! Wtf! I'm getting in late Thursday ( landing at 1030 ) might be sleeping in the lobby lol
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Zee Booofay
Translation: The Buffet lol
So prior to banding anytime I went to a buffet I would head straight to the salad portion and compile a giant delicious salad, then be full, but would stuff down some of the meal stuff, just so I felt like I got my money's worth. These days? I feel downright stupid going to a buffet. $15-$20 bucks for basically a spoonful of a few different things? Bleh. But I definitely try to not let my affect other people around me. So when we go out to dinner with the bf's parents, we go wherever they want. This time they decided they wanted to go to an Italian place that does a buffet on Tuesday nights. I told my bf that I was going to attempt to use my "hey this person had wls let them order as a senior or kid because they are going to have one bite and most likely will get stuck & end up puking it up anyway" discount card. But he said not to bother, kids meal was only 3 bucks less than the adults. Hey it's his money, who am I to argue?
I passed on the pre-dinner drink, usually I'd get one because there would be enough time to finish it before the food was ordered & delivered. The table next to us consisted of a overweight grandmother, overweight mother, & overweight teenaged kids (one boy & one girl) The teenage girl was a beautiful girl, maybe 13, about 5'6" & by my estimation well over 200 lbs. I happened to hit the buffet line at the same time as the mother, we both got to the seafood section at the same time, she started yelling at the carving station chef saying that the crab legs were "itty bitty" and when were they going to bring out the "good ones" he told her they wouldn't bring more out until those were gone and that there was "a lot of other good food to eat" I had to bite my tounge from laughing. Especially seeing that she was holding one plate that was overflowing and the other was 3/4 full.
I cannot help but being both fascinated and disgusted by watching other people eat. The shoveling of food, the swallowing after 2 chews, the massive amounts of food...I just cannot help the way that I judge and the way I am sickened.
Anyway, back to the family....the teenage girl got one plate of food (peel & eat shrimp, roast beef, sausage & peppers, & pasta) then a slice of some sort of cake. As her mother was on her 4th plate of food, she told the girl to go get more food. The girl said that she was full. The mother said "No you aren't, go get more" and continued to YELL at this girl until she got up and got another plate of food. Really? FORCING your child to eat when they tell you that they are full? Sure, I am on the outside, I don't know the whole story. I only know what I saw & eavesdropped on. But it still pissed me off. I blame that childs weight on her mother. There I said it!
What was on my plate?
1 regular meatball
1 swedish meatball
1 stuffed shrimp
1 medallion of chicken picatta
2 baby carrots
2 pieces of cavatelli w/ broccoli
2 pieces of macaroni & cheese
1 chunk of some mystery meat
I ate 1 bite of everything except the mystery meat & mac & cheese...oh and the stuffed shrimp which I had 2 bites of lol. The chicken was WICKED dry and I promptly got stuck, so I was done. Which sucked because I was HUNGRY. As I said before, it sucks ass being stuck when you are hungry! By the time everyone was done (minimum of 3 plates of food for everyone) I took 2 bites of the bf's soft serve ice cream.
Why is it that I crave sweets yet can't stand the sweetness? Hmmm? Oh and why is it that for the past few days I have not only had a wicked migrane but also bad gas pains. Like wake me up in the middle of the night bad.
So prior to banding anytime I went to a buffet I would head straight to the salad portion and compile a giant delicious salad, then be full, but would stuff down some of the meal stuff, just so I felt like I got my money's worth. These days? I feel downright stupid going to a buffet. $15-$20 bucks for basically a spoonful of a few different things? Bleh. But I definitely try to not let my affect other people around me. So when we go out to dinner with the bf's parents, we go wherever they want. This time they decided they wanted to go to an Italian place that does a buffet on Tuesday nights. I told my bf that I was going to attempt to use my "hey this person had wls let them order as a senior or kid because they are going to have one bite and most likely will get stuck & end up puking it up anyway" discount card. But he said not to bother, kids meal was only 3 bucks less than the adults. Hey it's his money, who am I to argue?
I passed on the pre-dinner drink, usually I'd get one because there would be enough time to finish it before the food was ordered & delivered. The table next to us consisted of a overweight grandmother, overweight mother, & overweight teenaged kids (one boy & one girl) The teenage girl was a beautiful girl, maybe 13, about 5'6" & by my estimation well over 200 lbs. I happened to hit the buffet line at the same time as the mother, we both got to the seafood section at the same time, she started yelling at the carving station chef saying that the crab legs were "itty bitty" and when were they going to bring out the "good ones" he told her they wouldn't bring more out until those were gone and that there was "a lot of other good food to eat" I had to bite my tounge from laughing. Especially seeing that she was holding one plate that was overflowing and the other was 3/4 full.
I cannot help but being both fascinated and disgusted by watching other people eat. The shoveling of food, the swallowing after 2 chews, the massive amounts of food...I just cannot help the way that I judge and the way I am sickened.
Anyway, back to the family....the teenage girl got one plate of food (peel & eat shrimp, roast beef, sausage & peppers, & pasta) then a slice of some sort of cake. As her mother was on her 4th plate of food, she told the girl to go get more food. The girl said that she was full. The mother said "No you aren't, go get more" and continued to YELL at this girl until she got up and got another plate of food. Really? FORCING your child to eat when they tell you that they are full? Sure, I am on the outside, I don't know the whole story. I only know what I saw & eavesdropped on. But it still pissed me off. I blame that childs weight on her mother. There I said it!
What was on my plate?
1 regular meatball
1 swedish meatball
1 stuffed shrimp
1 medallion of chicken picatta
2 baby carrots
2 pieces of cavatelli w/ broccoli
2 pieces of macaroni & cheese
1 chunk of some mystery meat
I ate 1 bite of everything except the mystery meat & mac & cheese...oh and the stuffed shrimp which I had 2 bites of lol. The chicken was WICKED dry and I promptly got stuck, so I was done. Which sucked because I was HUNGRY. As I said before, it sucks ass being stuck when you are hungry! By the time everyone was done (minimum of 3 plates of food for everyone) I took 2 bites of the bf's soft serve ice cream.
Why is it that I crave sweets yet can't stand the sweetness? Hmmm? Oh and why is it that for the past few days I have not only had a wicked migrane but also bad gas pains. Like wake me up in the middle of the night bad.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Well lookit dat....
Phonetic spelling is fun! So this morning I realized I neglected to do laundry last night so no clean jeans.....except those sweetheart ON size 16 that I bought in November. Let's see if they fit my flabby ass.....well lookit dat! They fit! Well for the most part lol. They are def more low rise than I'm used to.....say no to crack! And while the hippular and assular area fit fine the waist is a bit big...methinks I need a belt! Who woulda thunk that!
The bf & I took his parents to dinner last night, to a buffet. I have a lot to say, from the ridiculousness of a buffet for a banded person to the child abuse I witnessed.....but it is too much to type w one finger on my little phone lol will post later because it is very interesting!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Strap in, it's a long one!
With all the blogs & conversations regarding that doctor show and the episode with some banded people and what they supposedly eat, I decided I'd chime in and share what I eat. BTW I LOVE seeing what everyone eats. Not only do I get ideas but the thing that I don't like about blogs is that while you get to know people, it's only in snippets, what is PRESENTED for you to know. Know what I mean? I want to know everything about you, and seeing what you eat is just another piece for me to put in the file. Does that sound stalkerish? LOL
Anyway, I am not going to run down a daily food log by the hour, because honestly it changes pretty much daily. I will just share my commonly eaten items.
Breakfast:
Cottage Cheese
Hard boiled egg
Hummus
Snacks:
Cheese stick (reduced fat colby jack)
Nuts
Lunch & Dinner:
Chicken Salad
Tuna Salad
Cold Cuts w/ a wedge of L@ughing C0w on a flatbread cracker or rice cake or some sort of cracker thing
salad w/ cold cuts all chopped up
my new fave IS precooked chicken & guacamole
chili
Once a month or so I will make a batch of bites ala Ms. E-face
Eating out:
2 of my favorite breakfasts are the protein plate from Sbux or a go wrap from DD just sausage & cheese
fast food I get chicken nuggets
The bf & I eat out often, 99.9 % of the time I order an appetizer, usually some sort of seafood thing & very rarely eat the whole thing
Alcohol:
YUP! No beer for me though :-( For awhile I was able to drink beer but the carbonation is too weird and I tend to get stuck on it now. Same with soda, but honestly before surgery I didn't drink much of it. Although I do love me some Diet "Do" and would kill for some good root beer right now!!
I usually go with Tw1sted Te@, sometimes wine, grape vodka & cranberry or very rarely margartitas (unless I am in NYC lol)
What I can't eat:
Scrambled or fried eggs (although I did all the time for a long time after surgery!) Sandwiches, but to be honest I really haven't tried to eat much bread, a few bites of some crusty bread here & there but I really don't want to find out for sure if I can or cannot eat bread lol Also a few weekends ago I tried a scooped out bagel, it was slow moving, but honestly I really didn't enjoy it. Burgers, oh my sweet sweet burgers....I LOVE them yet I cannot eat them :-( Ground beef (or any meat) in any other form? No problem, meatloaf, meatballs, sloppy joe type stuff, chili etc etc. Weird huh? Same with the eggs! Haven't really had pasta ( a few bites here & there) or rice so I just don't know.
Junk Food:
Yeah chips (although I do tend to go for the veggie sticks or popchips, not that they are a good idea either lol) popcorn PIZZA crackers....no problem.
Beverages:
My water is sporadic, some days (at work) I will have 4 bottles of water, others, barely 1! Crystal Light, Vit Water 0, so S0Be zero. At Sbux I normally go for a skinny vanilla iced, but I will admit to iced white m0chas, although they are a touch too sweet so I now order them w just 2 pumps, might even drop down to 1 pump.
What is missing?? Veggies, I know, I always go for the main food then if there is any space left I go for the veggie. Hence why I usually go for salads. Oh and that other stuff, whats it called? F.....Froot? Oh yeah, fruit....I don't eat ANY fruit. I tried some apple (skin off) last week, bad idea. I need to work on these areas.
Getting stuck & PB's, happens more to me than I'd really like to admit. In my little world, when it comes to me, getting stuck & PB'ing is total user error. It sucks, and it REALLY sucks being stuck AND hungry. Where the F does all that slime come from? Am I the only disgusting one that wants to touch it? No I haven't really touched it! It is really disgusting (really this is gross skip ahead to the next paragraph!) when you have a huge string of slime hanging out of your mouth into the toliet, does the toliet water travel up the slime line? Yeah when I think about that whilst sliming it makes me gag and slime even more. Who was it in Chicago that coined the phrase "Toliet Water Splashback" was it Joey? I can' remember, but that sucks too. And have you ever clogged the toliet due to slime? Good times.
Whew, this is a long post! You still with me? I have decided that since February 23rd (one year since surgery) and once moved (ok not a permanent move yet, still looking for a place to buy lol) into the 190's it isn't that I wasn't losing weight, I was merely maintaining! lol Yeahhhhh......Bouncing around 197 to 201. Several people in the past week or so have told me that I need to stop losing weight, ummm HELLO? Maybe if I could designate to not lose anymore on top & focus on the bottom half? Does it work that way? Yeah didn't think so.
This is what happens when you don't blog for a long time, a marathon post that nobody will finish lol
Anyway, I am not going to run down a daily food log by the hour, because honestly it changes pretty much daily. I will just share my commonly eaten items.
Breakfast:
Cottage Cheese
Hard boiled egg
Hummus
Snacks:
Cheese stick (reduced fat colby jack)
Nuts
Lunch & Dinner:
Chicken Salad
Tuna Salad
Cold Cuts w/ a wedge of L@ughing C0w on a flatbread cracker or rice cake or some sort of cracker thing
salad w/ cold cuts all chopped up
my new fave IS precooked chicken & guacamole
chili
Once a month or so I will make a batch of bites ala Ms. E-face
Eating out:
2 of my favorite breakfasts are the protein plate from Sbux or a go wrap from DD just sausage & cheese
fast food I get chicken nuggets
The bf & I eat out often, 99.9 % of the time I order an appetizer, usually some sort of seafood thing & very rarely eat the whole thing
Alcohol:
YUP! No beer for me though :-( For awhile I was able to drink beer but the carbonation is too weird and I tend to get stuck on it now. Same with soda, but honestly before surgery I didn't drink much of it. Although I do love me some Diet "Do" and would kill for some good root beer right now!!
I usually go with Tw1sted Te@, sometimes wine, grape vodka & cranberry or very rarely margartitas (unless I am in NYC lol)
What I can't eat:
Scrambled or fried eggs (although I did all the time for a long time after surgery!) Sandwiches, but to be honest I really haven't tried to eat much bread, a few bites of some crusty bread here & there but I really don't want to find out for sure if I can or cannot eat bread lol Also a few weekends ago I tried a scooped out bagel, it was slow moving, but honestly I really didn't enjoy it. Burgers, oh my sweet sweet burgers....I LOVE them yet I cannot eat them :-( Ground beef (or any meat) in any other form? No problem, meatloaf, meatballs, sloppy joe type stuff, chili etc etc. Weird huh? Same with the eggs! Haven't really had pasta ( a few bites here & there) or rice so I just don't know.
Junk Food:
Yeah chips (although I do tend to go for the veggie sticks or popchips, not that they are a good idea either lol) popcorn PIZZA crackers....no problem.
Beverages:
My water is sporadic, some days (at work) I will have 4 bottles of water, others, barely 1! Crystal Light, Vit Water 0, so S0Be zero. At Sbux I normally go for a skinny vanilla iced, but I will admit to iced white m0chas, although they are a touch too sweet so I now order them w just 2 pumps, might even drop down to 1 pump.
What is missing?? Veggies, I know, I always go for the main food then if there is any space left I go for the veggie. Hence why I usually go for salads. Oh and that other stuff, whats it called? F.....Froot? Oh yeah, fruit....I don't eat ANY fruit. I tried some apple (skin off) last week, bad idea. I need to work on these areas.
Getting stuck & PB's, happens more to me than I'd really like to admit. In my little world, when it comes to me, getting stuck & PB'ing is total user error. It sucks, and it REALLY sucks being stuck AND hungry. Where the F does all that slime come from? Am I the only disgusting one that wants to touch it? No I haven't really touched it! It is really disgusting (really this is gross skip ahead to the next paragraph!) when you have a huge string of slime hanging out of your mouth into the toliet, does the toliet water travel up the slime line? Yeah when I think about that whilst sliming it makes me gag and slime even more. Who was it in Chicago that coined the phrase "Toliet Water Splashback" was it Joey? I can' remember, but that sucks too. And have you ever clogged the toliet due to slime? Good times.
Whew, this is a long post! You still with me? I have decided that since February 23rd (one year since surgery) and once moved (ok not a permanent move yet, still looking for a place to buy lol) into the 190's it isn't that I wasn't losing weight, I was merely maintaining! lol Yeahhhhh......Bouncing around 197 to 201. Several people in the past week or so have told me that I need to stop losing weight, ummm HELLO? Maybe if I could designate to not lose anymore on top & focus on the bottom half? Does it work that way? Yeah didn't think so.
This is what happens when you don't blog for a long time, a marathon post that nobody will finish lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)